Sunday, December 18, 2016

Heading Home for Christmas

So as I am about to embark on my road trip home with Danika in tow. We had packed our bags earlier this week, so as we finished up this semester (with a bang) and as soon as our last class was finished, we jumped in our car and headed to the gas station to fill up and grab road trip snacks….!

I have been on road trips with Mom and Dad, and this is, not that! The last time I had to drive this road I drove alone and I was worried when Dad called me to be there for Mom’s tests. But this road trip is going to be fun!! I am excited to go home, especially after my last visit. Danika was going to stay at the apartment for the holidays, and I couldn't have any of that! I just couldn’t leave her behind!

“You must come and meet my family!”, I told her.

It is a four-hour drive home from the school to Lynchburg, N.C. I can’t wait to see Mom, Dad, and Grandpa! Mom tells me some of my friends from when I was younger (and growing up) are in town for Christmas, so I get to see them too!! I only had a couple of friends, but I would love to see them again, it has been years since we saw each other.

Danika and I don’t listen to the same music, so we have agreed to share the radio and take turns, lol! We laugh like little girls, much younger in a time and place as if it seems like a memory, at least that is how I see it in my mind…

Two girls traveling in a car, going through all the small towns and a few bigger cities, singing "Christmas Carols" and eating chips. I swear I could get used to this, enjoying life, making memories, sharing stories about my hometown with such a great friend, whom I barely knew last year, at this time. I'm so thankful for my family, so thankful for my friend! I can’t wait to get home! And we are almost there!!

Life is really, really good right now! I am back up on my blog! Another semester down!

What more could a girl possibly want? Ice Cream! I want ice cream….I think it is Danika’s turn to drive, don’t you?

See you in a few weeks!!



Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Believe Me

So as I sit with my morning cup of coffee, I have been able to put my mindset focus back to my writing.

My long list of things to do are done. I stayed here for Thanksgiving, since I had just been home with my parents.

Danika had invited a bunch of friends over for the big turkey day.  Thanksgiving dinner meant something special to me this year.  I was thankful for family but especially, my Mom.

I went last week to Danikas’ Bible Study group and I was surprised to find myself liking the people I was surrounded by.  Ever since meeting Danika I have kind of learned that being an extrovert is a new way of life, I could get use to it.  Although introverted is how I have lived most of my life, extroverts are not as I had envisioned it isn’t arrogance as I had once believed.  It is a different perspective of your personality and how you release your thoughts externally or internal.

I always am thinking about writing, I have been for a long time.  So I have stories in my head not yet penned to paper.  Is that even a word, penned?  Yes, it is I checked.  Lol.

So as we go to Bible Study, of course I can’t stop thinking about the small amount of work still needing to be accomplished and my blog, well, much need for me to sit and write for days, if not weeks.

It’s a small group of people gathered with some tables set out and coffee and water out for others to help themselves. He is a young guy who leads us into prayer and we sit at the tables and have some introductions on who has come for their first time and how do the new people hear of the group.  This was easy for me, my name is Lily and Danika told me about this group.  Next.  We all gather around together and bow our heads to pray.  At this point in time, I feel childlike.  I am instantly reverted back in time as a young girl with my hand in Grandpa's at Church and when I we had to bow and pray I would sneak a look to see if Grandpa’s eyes were closed and then close my eyes, quickly. A refraction in time perhaps?  To a place where I felt safe by just being there.  So as I try to open one eye and look around, another girl has her head up and she sees me.  I start to shut my eyes quickly but I am caught.

She smiles at me, slowly bows her head and shuts her eyes.  Huh, thats how its done.

It’s almost like therapy group that you would see in a movie.  They ask for any prayer requests or if anyone wants to say anything?  Danika looks at me.  There are a few new people, including me.  They just asked me my name and how I heard about the Bible study.  That was easy enough.  Do I really need to say anything more?  So I say well my Mom is the reason I wanted to come.  I explained how I went home after some bad test results after her already battling cancer when I was very young.  I explained her test results came out well.  They began to say Praise God! Thank you, Lord!  I thought, yes, God, thank you!  It was strange.

I would have never said something aloud let alone with an entire group of individuals I had never met before.

As each person shared a good week or a bad moment in their week, we then shared scripture.  It happened to be about submission.  Submission to God.

I think I will be getting help from Danika on this subject as I think to myself.  It rang true, in it all I did submit, everything that happened those last few weeks, I had no control over.

The people I met were kind and funny.  Some struggled with school, some had a great week.  But I felt they genuinely cared about me, complete strangers!

Believe me?


Monday, November 21, 2016

Getting Back into The Groove of Things

I was finally able to “catch up” on everything in my life!!  Including all my homework, reading and studying!! Taking two weeks off in the middle of a semester and then trying to finish all the work is exhausting.  I haven’t had much sleep, but it is all done, now.

I am so thankful my Mom is going to be ok.  I have never been more afraid as we waited for the test results.

Danika was able to let me know the status of the students I tutor, and she did a fantastic job!  Several of the students came up to me this past week and told me how wonderful she is; don’t I know it!!

My ebook has been delayed, dear readers.  I am so sorry.  I have had to make sure I put my priorities in order, and with my Mom needing me at home as well as the class work needing to be completed before the quarter is up, I just couldn’t do both.

Thank you for your patience, thank you for your concern with my family.  I appreciate all of you. I wanted to make sure you knew how much it meant for me to receive all of your uplifting and kind words of encouragement!! When you go through something traumatic, it just drains everything from your body and mind.  I am an active person.  I am the girl who looks at the glass of milk as half full! However, fear snuck into my mind many, many times!  I cried several times, just like a child, for those two weeks.  Just for a few days when I returned to campus, I had to sleep.  I always thought I understood when people said "they were emotionally drained" after a terrifying time in their lives... but it is entirely different when it is YOU going through all the emotions that come from a scare like this one.

Danika has been by my side staying up late with me.  Late nights with coffee are the best!  She has again invited me to her Bible Study group; I almost said "no thanks," but something told me I should go.

I was curious before, but after talking with Danika about everything that happened while I was home, she thought it would be a good idea to go to one of the meetings this week.  I have decided to listen to her wise words and go.

Wish Me Luck,


Sunday, November 13, 2016

My Apologies

Wow, can I say how sorry I am dear readers?  Everything was going well!  I was ready to launch my very first ebook and be on my way to becoming a real writer... when I got the call.  It was my Dad telling me that one of my Mom’s tests from her doctor had returned with a not so good result and he needed me to come home.

You see my Mom had cancer, there I have said “IT.”  It was long ago, but we thought we were past all of this.  So when I got Dad’s call, I got to packing and getting my school work delayed for a few weeks while I went home for medical leave. I packed my bags and went back to the place of my childhood.  My mom was not happy that Dad had called me and that I had come home, but she did understand why he had.  Dad looked worried; he loves my Mom so much.  I hugged her like I never have before and we both sat and cried.

She had another test that Monday to go to and Dad and I went with her despite her complaints.  The doctor had many more tests to run and wouldn't know anything for a few weeks.  A few weeks?  How could you make anyone wait for a few weeks?  I told them I wasn’t leaving until we found out the results.  I wanted to be there for the both of them.  My Dad and Mom have been there for me always; now I was the adult, and they needed me to be there for them.   I had a difficult time being the adult, what I wanted to do was just curl up in a big ball on the couch and cry till I couldn’t cry anymore.  How could this be happening again?  The things your mind tells you during and under stress is unlimited.

I watched my father pace for days, then weeks.  I am making this post short, so after two horrifying weeks of worrying, crying and watching my Dad and Mom go through all of this, heartbreaking, the tests were done, and the doctor said they could not find anything wrong.  YEAH!
She has been told to come back in January for a check-up and to review and redo any tests, if necessary.

So again, I apologize to all my readers, I just couldn’t write.  I tried to write several times and then I would just begin to cry.  I tried to get as much of my school work done, as much as possible.  Moms, even if they may be sick, still believe homework is law, at least that is how it is in my house.
Danika helped me while I was gone and kept everything going including taking over my hours at the library for the ones who needed tutoring, that way they were still able to get the help they needed.  Thanks again, Danika!

I have a lot to catch up on and wanted to thank my readers for being so understanding.  I know you were wondering what happened.  I just, for once, didn’t know what to write.

To my Mom and Dad, I love the both of you so much!!

As Always,

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Final Draft

So, I finally got my final draft back, all corrected, from Mrs. Jacoby! I was able to see Tyrone one more time to get the graphics done, just right!

Writing a book is a lot of work and my ebook is much shorter than any novel I have ever read. I feel like this was a good test for me, although I don’t think I did so well with all the emotions that go along with such a hefty goal.

I was a little harsh last week with the students during tutoring last week in the library. I was becoming frustrated and I don’t usually get upset. I am sure I will have to keep my feelings more in check when taking on such a project as this.

I got to show Danika my book last night and I think she was more thrilled than even I am. I still have to add here, that if it wasn't for Danika, my book might not have ever been written.

Well, we will just have to see what the critics have to say. I mean it is my very first book. It is well written, if you ask me. I can’t wait! The launch is next month.

Wish me luck!!!


Saturday, September 17, 2016

Tutoring Again

So here I am once again in the library helping other students with their writing assignments. I am usually helping those with English Composition or Creative Writing, sometimes it is for another class.

As I had a few papers to finish up, I am noticing that my level of writing seems superior to the ones I am reading and correcting now. I have been writing since I was a little girl so maybe that’s why mine are so much better.

Some of these papers I have read look like a young kid wrote them. I am thinking to myself, I hope this guy passes this semester.

I remember back to the summer when I went with one of the guys to the Recreation Center and how he tutored young students. I feel like I am back there again.

I thought most people could write fairly well? Maybe I was wrong. Looks like I will be here for awhile and I have so much to do with my own workload and finishing my own book.

I can only help the students so much. Maybe if they took the time they needed instead of rushing through assignment and just writing anything down, they would see its importance and know what it is they are writing about.

I guess I will get to my book later tomorrow, it’s going to be a long night!


Sunday, September 11, 2016

Ugh...The Disappointment of the Day

I go into Creative Writing class, and I am in a Great Mood! I got the chance to work with Tyrone on graphics yesterday for my eBook, and my spirit has carried over into today! It was exciting to look at different ways we might go about choosing the graphics for my first eBook.

Mrs. Jacoby said she needed to speak with me after class, so I figured she must be done with editing. This is great! It’s all falling into place. Maybe editing a book wasn’t as bad as I expected it could be.

The bell rings and I can hardly wait to get to speak with Mrs. Jacoby, of course, today, other students have questions? No one ever has questions for Mrs. Jacoby? Finally, my turn! I can already see my eBook sitting on her desk… Red Marks are everywhere! How is this possible? I edit for a living! As I flip through the first few pages, I understand I have more work to do and possibly another rewrite for my future! She can tell from my expression this wasn’t what I expected; I am not sure what my face is saying, but I swallowed my heart and my pride! Mrs. Jacoby is trying to comfort me with words. I can only hear part of what she is saying “It’s fine. Only a few changes”….she says. “Thanks, Mrs. Jacoby, I do appreciate all your help!” is all I can manage to say before heading to my next class. I slip my eBook back into my bag.

Now I feel like the athlete guys when they lose a game. I was sure it was well written. Just like, I am sure, they were sure they had practiced enough. I will have to go over it tonight.

This will take longer than I thought.


Saturday, September 3, 2016

Editing and Graphic Design

I think I told you in an earlier post how I took Creative Writing this year. It was a wise decision! I just love my teacher Mrs. Jacoby. She reminds me a lot of my mother. I had written a short story when I was much younger and I wrote it on my blog several months ago. If you would like to read it, in case you missed it, it’s under blog post titled A Blast From My Past. Mr. Canezzle is his name and the main character in the short story. Anyways, my mom would always help me with my writings and “edit” my papers.

I was talking to Mrs. Jacoby at the end of the class and telling her how I was at the end of my book that I am writing and she said she would love to read it! Yes!! Of course she could read it, I would love that! I was thrilled even more when she offered to edit my book! I am really excited. Who better than an English teacher to edit my book!

As luck was obviously on my side today, I had the book with me and so I gave it to her. She said she would need a week or two to look it over and of course I said that was just fine. She had a lot of class work to go over for all her classes since it is the beginning of the new school year and I can absolutely understand that.

Then when I turn around to head over to the library...there is Tyrone, he has her class this period. Remember him from Danika’s get together? Remember the one where Danika and I actually introduced ourselves?

He must have overheard our conversation because he offered to help me with my graphics for my book!!! Of course, he is a graphics major. I did not know that!!

In one day I have found an editor and a graphics guy to help me with my book and it’s free!!!

Now I have to get over to the library to pick up my schedule for tutoring students who either take English Comp. or Creative Writing classes. It is on my way to the next class and if I don’t hurry I am going to be late!! I promised myself this year I would stick to my schedule. No more excuses for being late to class. I hate being late, don’t you?

A girl has to have a job to pay for all the extra stuff she needs!! It’s a perfect job for me to read other people’s work and you know how I love to read!!

Until next time!!


Sunday, August 28, 2016

Small Group

So, one week into the new semester at school and I am buried in a long list of things to do, but what does Danika invite me to? A small group at her Church. I would like to go, just to see what it is they do. I figure it could probably be interesting. It could turn into a new research paper, possibly… Except, I can’t seem to find the time even to brush my hair, let alone go somewhere. This woman never stops. How does she find the time? Maybe, some mysteries just can not be solved, and maybe the way time is able to bend around Danika is one such mystery.

I asked Danika for some more details about this small group and she explained to me that it's a Bible Study. Nevertheless, since I haven’t really read very much about the Bible, I kind of feel weird about the idea of going to hang out with a group of people I don’t know and to talk about something I am not that familiar with... At least for this week anyways, meaning I’m not planning on going. I shall probably politely decline the invite.

This whole “small group” business does have me curious though. See, Danika is always in a great mood, but after these meetings (when I have seen her) she is in an exceptionally good mood. I don’t know, maybe next week I will do some investigating, if college is unable to get me first. You know, even though I have been busy this year, I am still trying to make it a goal to step out and try new things. I learned so much, so far, from stepping out of my comfort zone; I think I could always benefit from having an exceptionally good mood every few days like Danika. How about you? Do you have a friend who always seems to lift you and your spirit up? I am so thankful for such a good friend. Have a great week, see you next week!


Saturday, August 20, 2016

Home Sweet Home

Well I got a nice surprise in the mail from my Mom and Dad. I was able to go home and visit them for a whole week before school starts.I have missed them so much while being away at school. It felt good to sleep in my own bed again and Mom’s home cooked meals are the best! I was able to sleep in and remember all the good times I had while living in this house.

It’s kind of awkward when you go back home after being away so long (or maybe dad is just being Dad and trying to make it awkward). Dad asked me to take out the trash my first evening home, I almost laughed. As he put it, “You will never be too old to do house chores.” Thanks, Dad! I think he might have been saving that trash just so I could take it out. Classic Dad.

My parents took me out to my favorite restaurant while I was home. Have I mentioned I love Indian food? The best! Oops, scratch that...second best (love you, Mom)!

I was finally able to show my parents my blog and tell them about my book. I am not sure who looked more proud: Mom or Dad?

Surprises are good but going home was exactly what I needed to start the school year off on a good note. I remember teachers asking, “What did you do over summer break?” This will be an easy A for me. How about you? How was your summer? This summer for me has been one of the very best. It’s going to be a busy week and I will do my very best to keep up with everything that I had planned for this summer and this semester. Wish me luck!


Sunday, August 14, 2016

A New Beginning

I am finally getting everything together and put in place for this semester. I am excited to be going back to school. I have a feeling this is just another chapter in my life that must unfold before me as I take the next steps forward into my future.

I have set a list of goals for me to accomplish (to be where I want to be at the end of my life). Have you? I do better at accomplishing what is set before me, if I have a list to check off. I don’t know, I guess that’s just how I work. Everyone does things differently. Where I need a list to work best, people like Danika do not need anything. In fact, those kinds of people seem to do their greatest work when they have no plans.

Back to my plans: I am taking ‘Creative Writing’ this semester, and I have this great anticipation of what I will be writing about this year, especially since I am on my way to becoming a great author.

Dreaming, believing, hoping and working towards this list of accomplishable goals turns to fruition.

A previous thought of an idea that came to my mind has now become tangible.

Evidence of approval or disapproval to come…


Saturday, August 6, 2016

Authors and Ice Cream

So I decided to go to the bookstore at the school and pick up a few things I need this week and who do I run into but the girl I met from the 4th of July BBQ.

She sees me at the same time and we both smile: a familiar face. I enjoyed talking to her. As I recall, we had a lot in common. I head over to her as she is shopping as well. I remember both of us liked to write and loved to watch people.

 Kelli asked me how my book writing was coming along. She grabbed a few things and we both headed over to the register to check out. She had a great idea for us to go out and get some ice cream, since both of our schedules were clear for the day, anyways. We had a few hours to just hang out.

Kelli and I both love ice cream and it was so hot outside. What a great idea. So as we settle in with our cold, sweet treats we begin to catch up on what has happened in the past month.

She looked intrigued as I told her how Danika had helped me so much, especially with all the interviews and ideas she had given to me. I told her it was amazing and terrifying simultaneously. The both of us being introverts and all, I didn’t need to explain any further.

 She asked me if I would help her with some of her writing and of course I said yes (I wouldn’t have agreed to do that a year ago. Thanks, Danika!). We talked about our goals for this semester. She wants to start a blog and possibly write a book, as well. “How exciting”, just like me!

 She knows she wants to be an author too and said since she met me at the party she has begun to write again but this time not for school.

We had just a great time as we ate our ice cream and people watched. I told her about my blog and how my book would be launching soon. We exchanged cell numbers. I told Kelli any help she needed with her blog or editing I would be more than happy to help her out with.

We said our goodbyes and went off in opposite directions as my mind wandered off to the future, seeing Kelli and I as famous authors meeting for a fancy lunch, you know the ones you see in a movie. Hey, maybe my future books could become a movie or two?

A girl can dream… 


Saturday, July 30, 2016

Reflections of a Summer

I can’t help but look back through some memories, my mind was not on my agenda over summer break.  Realizing this, I think I have accomplished much more than I had originally thought or planned, and it’s a good thing too!

Can you remember back to how I met Danika?  It was in our accidental meeting in the dorm hallway, as she tried to repeat an old recipe from her grandmother that we became friends.  I will never forget her look of disappointment over a pie.

Danika has an outgoing type of personality.  Someone who is always fun to be around.  Becoming friends at the beginning of summer started all this for me.  She has led me to do things I would never have ventured out to do, ever.

We have shared coffee, conversations in the late hours.  I even shared my writings;  I left myself open to be vulnerable and allowed for criticism.  All I have received from her has been encouragement and nudges forward in the right direction.  

I appreciate the friendship, I have enjoyed her honesty and frankness.  She doesn't hold back either, if she thinks I may have worded something incorrectly, she tells me.

She has been the greatest of help to me this summer, not only help for me as an individual but as a writer;  she has peeled back layers for me to show I need to look deeper.  

Danika was the one who pushed me forward to interview the guys.  She showed me I needed to do more research and then helped me get the interviews and even helped me do some of the research work.

Danika allowed me to be in her life.  We have continued to hang out with each other, even with a million other things we both needed to do.

I had not envisioned this summer turning out as it did and that my readers is truly a great thing!



The chapters are being written….slowly but surely!  I am getting excited, as I can see it coming together nicely!!

Friday, July 22, 2016

1st. Person vs. 3rd. Person Points of View

So I have been going back and forth as I am writing my book, deciding whether to write in 1st person or 3rd person.

The battle in my mind is raging on…..What to do?  What to do?

I had the brilliant idea to Google the subject and see if it returned to me some wisdom.  No such luck.  Just the basic response of which personal pronouns to use, seriously?

So as I was digging deeper into my found research, I find a summary article on how 1st person is considered more for novice writers compared to the more accomplished writers seeming to place themselves in the 3rd person perspective.

I believe writing in 1st person works best for me.  When I am writing, I can hear my voice as I take pen to paper.  Do you do this when you write?  My assumption would be, Yes!

One of the articles I read suggested I should write my book in both points of view, and I had considered this briefly when writing my first few paragraphs of my book.  But it just doesn’t seem to fit me and my writing style at least for now, anyway.

So I think I will continue to write in 1st person and continue with some more research.  I have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time.  I have some more reflections to look back on from this summer and my research that I have completed changed my perspective somewhat, and I thought I would share these thoughts of mine next week.  

Happy writings to you my dear readers!  School is coming upon us quickly!
There is much still to do!


Friday, July 15, 2016

Tutoring With Brian

So I decided to take up the offer to “see” how this baseball player on the field would handle tutoring a bunch of children at the recreational center.  I had asked Danika if she could call him for me.  I didn’t want just to call him; I tend to get nervous when talking, but especially to people I don’t know very well. It was nothing for Danika to pick up her cell phone and call him.  He was willing to meet me at the rec. center, as he called it. Well, that made me feel a little more at ease.  I mean, you know, I just met him, and I am still pretty shy.

My stomach was in knots by the time I got to the door of the rec. center at around 9 a.m.  He must have seen me through the glass windows because as soon as I reached for the door, he opened it.

Brian was rather good looking.  He was pretty tall too.  I had to look up to him to see his face.  Well, I have to look up to most people, being that I am only 5’ 2”.  But he is taller than normal. I would be guessing here, but maybe 6’3” to 6’4.”

“Hi Lily,  I am glad you decided to come and meet me today,” he said with a big smile.
I told him, “I do appreciate the fact you were willing to help me do some research for my book.”

The center was pretty loud with all kinds of kids, and all different ages. It opened up to a reception area where Brian explained parents would sign their children in and out each day on the counter; this is where I was able to sign in as a visitor and get my sticker. He asks if I would like a tour and I tell him sure.  We head over to the double doors that are now facing us, and as we step through them, you can see some of the children were playing basketball, other kids were sitting on the bleachers watching them.  A few of them were hanging out on the sidelines, well, that is what he called them. It’s a nice gym, air-conditioned and looked newly painted too.  Brain waves to a couple of the kids who yell out his name, as they wave back. We turn back around and head out through the double doors again and start walking to the back door.  This is where the outdoor games areas are, he explains some of the other younger children like to go out in the morning and usually play with some of the other rec center employees.  They can supervise and play different outdoor games; it occupies them for awhile.

Brian has some fans here, as well. Some more kids ask Brian to play a game, but he declines and tells them he has to go to the computer room to help some of the other children right now, and that he would be back in a little while.

We come back into the air-conditioned building, and he says we are going to go to the computer room, this is where some kids are already working on some assignments. So we walk down a long hallway and along the walls are pictures of some of the kids and a beautiful display of some art they must have worked on recently. He opens the door for me again.  He is a gentleman.  He thanks the girl for watching the class for a few minutes while he was giving me a tour of the facility.  She smiles and offers her hand to introduce herself.  She says no problem to Brian.

As soon as we are through the door, one of the boys has walked over to Brian asking for help with his paper.  He smiles back at the kid and introduces him to me.  The boy smiles and says hello.  Brian tells him how I am writing a book over summer break, and I am here to do some research for it.
“Cool,”  I laugh and smile as Brian asks the boy
“What are you working on?”
“Well, I am trying to write this book report I have.”

Brian explains that he works here three days a week as a volunteer.  He usually attempts to come an extra day if his baseball and school schedules allow it.  Sometimes it is difficult, as he explains with training and summer camp, it makes it hard.  I can tell he likes these kids, and they like him.

We spend the rest of the hour with the kids as Brian goes from computer to computer to help each child with their questions.  I admire him for the dedication. Once again Danika was right.  These players are much more than I had given them credit.  I thanked Brian for the “research help” and I tell the children I would love to come back again sometime.  And they said,
Brian tells me you’re welcome and wishes me luck.  He hopes to see me again sometime.  I say thanks, and that I appreciated his help so much.  This did help me a lot.

I have tutored at our school, in the library, before, but this was a new experience for me. Tutoring is much more than just a helping hand for some homework assignments for kids who needed extra help with their curriculum.  These kids have a bond with Brian, and you can see the feeling was mutual.

I think I like to do research...Do you?


Friday, July 8, 2016

The 4th, The BBQ, and The People Watching

Danika and I were able to both go to Mike’s house to have a BBQ on Saturday for the 4th of July.  He knows a lot of people which was great because it gave me quite a bit of material to work with for my research.  I don’t know about you, but I am a people watcher when I don’t have my head buried in a book, or I am not thinking and writing about my book.

Since I don’t go to parties very often, if ever; I brought along my notebook and pen figuring this was a perfect opportunity to do some “research.”

I was getting a drink when one of the girls came over from another table nearby and asked what I was doing with a notebook. So I told her I was just writing down some notes for a book I was working on over summer break.  She thought that was a great idea, and I told her I don’t get out that much with school and work, and she said she felt the same way.  She was invited by a friend to come and hang out too.  Good.  Something we both have in common, I thought.

So we started talking about how we both are “people watchers” unless I am thinking about my story of course.  She seemed kind and someone I could easily talk to (not like I am normally, where I feel I have to say something or it becomes an awkwardly silent, forced conversation).  

I could see Danika amongst a group of hungry looking people around the grill.  Talking and laughing, while we sat quietly watching them.  It was "small talk" between this new girl and me; she was going on her second year to at the university.  She also had been working part-time at one of the stores in town.  She wasn’t dating anyone either.

She gave me some names of the other players on the team who couldn’t go to the lunch last week.  Some more interviews, possibly?  I had told her about the lunch and my interview with them.

Danika waived me over, and I excused myself and joined her by the grill and got introduced to some more people. 

I say hello. I think I can remember a couple of their names? I can’t exactly take notes right now, can I?  It will have to wait until later tonight.

I watch as some people are swimming, some are dancing to the music.  People are laughing and having a great time.  To think I have been missing out on this?  It isn’t like what I thought at all.  I am glad I met Danika; it helps that she is the exact opposite of me.  In just a short amount of time, we have become friends.  I have met some new people; I have been able to start writing my book this summer, and I think I am finally able to have some fun and just relax a little bit, and it’s a point! I couldn’t do this all day like my character, James, could. But it’s nice right now, observing people as if I wasn’t there, just watching them from a distance.  How they act or move.  The way a person smiles.  How they dress, the way they dance.  The girls who won’t go swimming because they don’t want to mess up their hair or makeup, lol.  

Just going up to someone and asking them questions isn’t normally something I would do, but after Danika suggested it last week by giving me the idea to interview the players and doing some research for my story, I think I kind of I like it.  It takes me into a new way of writing I hadn’t thought of before.  Although I have seen other authors do this; it is new to me, though.

I guess if you are going to be an author, you also have to learn how to ask the right questions and speak to the right people.  

Well, I am about done with my outline for my book.  I think I have enough material to redo the beginning chapters correctly. Next week I have been invited by one of the players I interviewed to observe him in some tutoring he does for a rec center with some local kids.  I finally chose to go, and now I can hardly wait; I have to see this!

Until next week my dear readers.


Friday, July 1, 2016

Refraction Research (Part 2)

I was able to have lunch with friends of Danika’s after the game last week.  It didn't take long for Danika to get down to business, as we were still waiting to be seated when she dived into the conversation about how I was writing a book about some sports players and needed help.  She asked if it was alright if I asked them some questions, and they didn’t mind for me to interview a few of them while we ate lunch.  I just wanted to ask them a couple of things about them and the game they were playing.  A few of the guys said: “Yeah, sure they wouldn’t mind an interview.”  “Of course, lol.”

The hostess came over and seated us at a couple of tables, which all set right next to each other, but the guys just pushed the tables closer anyway, so we could all sit together at one long table.  The waitress comes right over and hand us our menus and asked what we would like to drink.  I went to sit down, and the two guys, who said they wouldn’t mind me interviewing them, sat on either side of me.  So I grabbed my pen and paper from out of my purse and began to ask them some questions.

I wanted to know what made this ‘game’ their choice of sport? (Can’t give away what sport the book is about yet.)

Subject A:  “I’ve been playing since I was nine years old.  My dad and I watched every game together, and when the little league tryouts came around the first year I could join, dad and I made it our sole goal for me to play baseball.  I worked hard to make it in on that first team, but once I made it, I fell in love with playing the game.”

Subject B: “I didn’t play sports when I was younger. I did like to run, though, which I guess means I was bound to have someone during my freshman year here ask me to try out.  Yeah, Mike over there thought I would be good at it since we ran every morning together.  He thought I might like it since part of the training was running.  I like to workout, and the running gave me some conditioning and endurance.  I mean, I liked other sports and watched a lot of sports on TV, but it wasn’t until my freshman year here that I decided to try out, but I made the team so...  I was surprised, especially since I had never played before. Yeah, but Mike taught me a lot about what I was doing wrong, and we practiced hard all year.  I’m not going to lie; that first year wasn’t great, but I learned a lot with the coaches and the guys helping me out.”

Subject A:  “We spend a good amount of time together, on and off the field.  We’d help each other out whenever possible; we’re like an extended family.  When something isn’t going right in the game, or we have problems with school, or our girlfriends, or home, we rely on each other." 

(At this point, Subject A turned way from me, to address the rest of his team.) "Like the time, David’s Dad was wicked sick. You guys remember that? A bunch of us guys got together and helped to cut their lawn and clean their garage to sell some things at a garage sale for the family to be able to pay some bills. Remember that?" (The team nodded as they all looked off in space as if to keep in mind that time for themselves.)

(Subject A, turned back to address me.) "There wasn’t a lot we could do, but we pulled together, after all, we had to do something.  We couldn’t let David and his dad go through that alone.  If one of us is off on our game, we try and help them out.  I know they got my back just like I got theirs.”

Subject B:  “We love the game!  For some of us, it’s why we even have a chance to go to college.  There are scholarships for us, so that helps with tuition, books, and fees.  Some of us have jobs, and others have a family, they need to care for.  I want to play the game so someday maybe I will be able to be a coach...  Hey! You know Lily, actually, next week I will be doing some tutoring. Yeah, I help out at this rec center.  Would you like to go?  You could see some of what I do off the field and stuff. It's a chance to do some more research." 

The interviewing stopped here, as the other players started joking about how sly that last guy was in trying to ask me out on a date. That made me a little uncomfortable; I have never been on a date. I guess the guys picked up on this because they all stopped laughing, and began apologizing, saying they were just picking on the other guy. Later on, Danika said she would go with me to the rec center so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. So, I don’t know; we’ll see if I go or not.

As I sat there amazed the time had gone by so fast, I realized that by asking them a few simple questions (at Danika's suggestion for me to do some research) that she was spot on, and absolutely correct: my opinion of these guys was a skewed one.  I watched them laugh together.  They were being loud, joking around, and having a real time, some friends just having lunch together, enjoying the fact they had won their game!

As we finished up and said our goodbyes, I thanked the two guys who allowed me to interview them. They told me I could ask them questions, anytime.  They couldn't wait to read my “book.”

I am going to have to do some more research.  I will have to make a list of what I think my readers would like to know about the players and the game.

I am glad I had my notebook and pen in my purse; something writers should always have with them in case they have an idea for a story.  I always try and be prepared and have a notebook and pen with me, especially lately, because I keep coming up with ideas or questions and at least I can write it down and go back to it later.  I don’t want to forget something that might be important later.

I am glad I have the summer to be able to write; it looks like I am going to need it!


Thursday, June 23, 2016

Refraction Research (Part 1)

I was finally able to convince Danika to read what I have written so far for my story about James.  She seemed to be rather surprised by my writings.  She said they were good except for two things, I don't know anything about sports and how I feel about jocks is inaccurate, according to her.  So now we are going to see a game with some of her friends so I can change some of the things I wrote and where I would be able to  insert about the camaraderie among the guys.  

Danika and I head over to a friend’s game.  It is almost over as Danika waves to the group of guys she calls her friends, they wave back.  She says she comes out to see them as much as possible.  She met them a few years ago when she was in her freshman year and she thought the same things as I did, just a bunch of jocks until she got to know them. 

They come off the field and introduce themselves to me, they won the game and are ecstatic to say the least.  Before I could say a word Danika asked if they were going to get lunch now and the tall guy answers her, “Yeah, of course. I am starving!”  

I guess we are going to lunch with the guys now?  Danika looks at me and says: “Isn’t this great?  Now you can do some of the research on your book and interview each one of them for some background on how and why they love the game.

Great Danika!  I think to myself, thanks so much!  I always wanted to interview a bunch of sweaty jocks!  As we are talking I am guessing they are going to the locker rooms to shower and change while Danika and I stand there and wait for them.  

She tells me: “I think you are going to be surprised about what you originally thought and how it will change your opinion after interviewing them.  Some of them are really amazing!”

Now I  am wondering if I did the right thing in actually showing her my work?! I am nervous and feel very awkward.  What in the world am I going to ask these guys?

As we head over to get lunch my mind is in overdrive, the questions just keep coming.  Who will I interview first?  Should I ask them about the game?  When did they start to play?  What do you think of people saying you are just dumb jocks?  No, scratch that.  Some of these guys are pretty BIG!  

Oh Danika, I don't know if I should hug you or never to speak to you again!  Only time will tell.  Wish me luck, I think I am going to need it!


Friday, June 17, 2016


Being in your space is somewhat of a luxury.  I suppose?

Living among others is entirely different.  Sleeping and waking patterns are different and not chronologically synced, morning rituals are to each being his or her own, and so on.  

I’m wondering if all new roommates go through this transition, they must?

Living at home is comfortable, no awkwardness there.

Trying to make coffee quietly is a new concept or rather, I haven’t had to do this in a rather long time.

Danika and I haven’t been able to see each other since we moved into our “new” apartment.  She just got back in and is sleeping late, which I imagine is unusual for her.  This does give me a good time to write a little more about James and my short story.  It is quiet, and with the early morning sunrise visible through our window, I feel the inspiration flowing.

I would like to think I could allow Danika to read the material I have written so far; she is a rather good editor after all.  But I am also quite nervous.  I don't ever let anyone read my stories or writings because they are so personal to me, but I feel she would be honest and tell me what she thinks.

I like that we are opposites.  Danika is so spontaneous, and sometimes I wonder what would I be like if I could do that, just be carefree and not have a ton of lists to make sure I haven’t missed a detail.  Winging it is not something I would usually even think about doing, but watching her, and how she seems to allow nothing to bother her, I do kind of wish I had that within me.  I don’t know; maybe I do and just haven’t unlocked it yet?  Taking a step and not having things planned would be like a vacation for me, I think that would make life easier, except if I did I would be so anxious.  Danika just came back from a mission trip, with her Church in upper North Carolina, to help a mission team who lives up there, and many of the people she took the trip with she didn’t even know.  I don't think I am quite that brave.  Maybe while living with Danika, I can learn how she can do these things.

She seems to be so casual about her decisions, and even now, she has been in school for a couple of years and is still unsure of her major.  I don't know what that is like, I always knew I wanted to be an author since I was a young girl.  Danika jokes about when she finally grows up maybe then she will know what career option she will choose.  She is, as I said: an incredible editor, but she seems to be good at almost anything she does.  Oh, of course!  Apple pies!  She is still trying to master that, haha!  

Okay, off of Danika, and back to the apartment.  I have unpacked the last of my belongings and taken many walks around our neighborhood just enjoying the quiet.  I like it here, and it seems to be helping me with building up my character and the storyline.  I hope to have Refraction done by the end of the summer.  However, I do want it to be perfect before I put it on my blog and have people amazed by the story.  

I have set some attainable goals this summer and am ready to try new things by stepping out of myself and learning some new stuff.  Being around Danika has shown me I have been all by myself this whole year, but I like my time alone, and I have enjoyed being by myself these past few weeks, but as I have walked every morning and said hello to the neighbors I almost feel like Danika is who James needs to be.  My Refraction.

I am such a lucky girl, a soon to be author, new friends and my story bursting through my mind ready to be written.

Well, let’s see what today brings?


Friday, June 10, 2016

A Walk Around the Neighborhood

I see them hand in hand walking slowly, carefully watching step after step. This couple who are elderly and apparently have been married for decades.

He opens the door for her, she turns ever so slightly towards him and smiles at him while saying thank you. He goes to the table near the window and pulls out a chair for her; again she says thank you as she clutches her purse into her lap as she takes her seat. He starts to turn around and head to the counter but instead looks back at her and asks her if she would like anything else?

"No, just the coffee." she says to him.

He walks straight up to the counter and asks for "two black coffees." He asks the young girl at the counter for "two creamers, please" and "that will be all" he tells her. She smiles back at him as she hands him his coffees and creamers.

"You got it?" She asks him.

“Yes, yes, I do, thank you!” he says.

She tells him to "have a good day" and he says “Thanks! I will! I am with that beautiful woman over there!” as he points to her at the table “She is my wife!”

The young girl smiles at the elderly woman, sitting at the table. She smiles back, knowing her husband must have said something to the young lady. He liked to make sure everyone knew she was 'his' wife. You could see the love pour out of this man for his lady.

He walked slowly back to her and set the coffees down as he pulls out his chair and sits down. He begins to open the creamers, one for each coffee, he takes the stirrer and stirs her coffee first and then he takes a napkin from the holder and placing the empty containers and stirrer on the napkin. While I am getting my coffee, I can't stop watching this couple. I find a seat facing them so I can drink my coffee and see them talk to each other.

The woman picks up her coffee and sips it slowly, watching him as he sips his.

“It is really hot, today!” She laughs at him as if she has heard 'his joke' before.

Looking at the two of them for just a moment, I can see when they were young, Maybe even dating back in college? My mind wanders...maybe they both went to school here? Do they have children? Grandchildren? How long have they been married? The way he looks at her, I guess I never paid that much attention before.

They are both dressed nicely; maybe they were taking a walk and decided to stop here for coffee? I had just followed them in here and was just going to grab some coffee to go, but when the girl asked me, “For here or to go?” I found myself saying, “Here!”

They are both laughing now. I missed what was so funny! There it happened again right before me a young couple in love, smiling and flirting with each other.

What did he do for a living? He looks rather intelligent.

She was a beautiful woman with big blue eyes that kept him almost dazed and in a trance. They quietly spoke to each other barely audible really? They looked over to me, and I just smiled and put my head down into my coffee. They must have felt me watching them. That’s great now I am a stalker of seniors.

They have finished their coffee; you can see he is asking if she is ready to go and she nods. He gets up first and walks over to put their empty cups and napkin into the trash receptacle and goes back over to her and gently helps her scoot back her chair and offers her his hand so she can get up. Her arm is securely locked into his, and he puts his hand on hers as they head out for the door. He lets go of her arm to open the door for her and once again her sweet smile, a nod and a thank you from her and a nod back to her from him and they both laugh.

I follow right behind them as I look to watch them walk the opposite way. As they look into the store windows and comment on what they see. I see a young couple once again, hand in hand, smiling as they walk the streets of the city.


Friday, June 3, 2016

Alone with an Introvert (Exclamation of my own Character)

Well, I made the big step and moved into an apartment with Danika while classes were finishing up last week. Danika was heading out of town for a missionary trip as we finished up our last class; thus, the friendly apartment manager had let us move in a few days earlier so we could get all of Danika’s stuff set before she left for her trip. It has been busy, and I have finally had time to relax a little bit and thought I should write some.

How nice it is to have the apartment, slightly more comfortable than a dorm room, especially all to myself, at least for this week. Danika has a few trips planned for this summer, so I will get to have the place to myself a few times, and I hope I can write during those times. Danika will be back this weekend, so I wanted to stay in and write while I still had the chance, but I have decided to get something to eat. I love Indian food, but the apt manager also said there was a good little restaurant only a few blocks from here, I might just do something out of the ordinary and get some food because I am starving.

I just finished unpacking a few more of my things; I didn't have that much to pack in the first place, just a few things (i.e. some clothes and a couple of boxes).  Danika though, she had stuff to move since she has collected a few more boxes than myself, of course, she has been here for a year longer than me.  She also had some newer pieces of furniture which I am quite comfortable writing in, especially her big oversized chair.  I may have to confiscate that when she returns, it is perfect to hang your legs over the edge of the chair and write on the laptop, but as my hunger pains increase, I guess I better get down to the restaurant and get some food to eat.  I haven't picked up more than a few things for the apartment, but I don't feel like cooking right now.  If I am going to be an author I must have the time to write, but I also must eat!

I have had some time just to relax, though and reflect on how different I am from Danika. Danika is a real extrovert and can just relax in front of people and is sociable among others; they just seem to be attracted to her outgoing personality.  Although I wouldn't usually consider myself an introvert, I am reconsidering that opinion of myself to be incorrect.  I am not like Danika as she says hello to every person she walks past, and I am always having writing on my mind, so I am not paying attention to others.  I also seem to notice I am shyer than her; she always appears to know just what to say.  I wonder how it would be to walk in Danika's shoes, just a day, taking on new projects and traveling like she is this summer.

I could certainly use her stories in my stories; maybe this is where I can add the other side of me into the storyline.  How would she feel or how would I handle living in an apartment for the summer and starting my second year of college? What about having a job or interning as an editor at the library?  Taking a few bold steps into a future, I hadn't seen until now?  The possibilities are endless, aren’t they?  Where shall I go next?  Maybe it is just time to get some dinner?  I am starving now!  I love the aromas of the Indian food and wish I was back at home with the restaurant Mom and Dad always took me to while growing up.  What would I eat if I hadn't loved Indian food?  I wonder where James would like to eat?  I am sure he would have his plans and be ready to go out with his friends, or maybe he wouldn't plan at all and just wait for the phone call to go out because James' friends always call him first?  Hmm?  Where oh where shall I go?

Until next time,

Friday, May 27, 2016

A Slice of Life

I had seen Danika a couple of times since the disaster with the apple pie.  We would say a quick hello or just a few simple words as we passed each other in the hall, coming and going in our busy schedules at school and while trying to catch up on my blog posts.

I liked her immediately that night she had “invited” me over.  She had asked that evening if we could meet for coffee at some point when things settled down, and we could sit and talk for awhile, so I told her sure.  

Doesn’t everybody say “sure” knowing lives at school keep us busy thus thinking to ourselves that wouldn’t happen, but not with Danika.  

She caught me yesterday in the hallway and said 10 o’clock tomorrow morning. I almost choked on my answer, sure I said, again.


I am getting ready to meet with Danika this morning and I step infront of the mirror. There stood my perfect reflection looking back at me. I am trying to recreate that day over and over again, when I swore I saw James, standing just so, leaning over the fountain.  Just one more glimpse was all I needed to be certain it was him!  I failed at every attempt.  

A knock on the door, it must be Danika.  Punctual, I like that!  I open the door, and she has such an energy about her even at 10:00  in the morning, ugh!  I am not awake yet.  I do need coffee!  She asks if I am ready, yes just grabbing my sandals as we head out the door.

As we are walking over to Dunkin Donuts, it is a beautiful day and quite a long walk, so we decide we are going to have ice coffees.  She begins to ask me several questions.  What am I doing this summer?  Am I going anywhere?  Will I be working?  The semester is over, and I am still thinking about all the writing I want to get out of my head and on to paper.

And then my mind froze.  Did Danika just ask me to be roommates with her?  She keeps on talking about how she was invited to go on two different mission trips this summer, and she would be gone for awhile, and that would allow me to have the place to myself and write.

I can’t believe this, but I am going to say yes!  This is going to be an interesting summer.  I look over into the store window and see our reflection or Refraction.  Hers, mine and possibly a third?  James!


Friday, May 20, 2016

Black, White or Gray & 26 Letters

As the semester winds down, I have spent many hours reading essays and papers of others from the tutoring center.  (Have I mentioned, I love helping others edit their work?  It makes me feel like I’m making a small difference in someone else’s life - you know, making an impact.)   

There was one all about the necessity of dream realms, or illusory realms in fiction.  It fascinated me.  While the paper focused on how using a dream to allow a character to figure out a moral dilemma was in essence a cop-out, I’m not so sure it is a bad literary concept.  It might even be one that needs to see a real revival in this present time.   

My first thoughts float to Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and how love can be fleeting, the complete opposite of the words of love which oftentimes claim to be undying and everlasting…

How often are people picking up books and just getting upset because in fiction, the problems seem to solved to quickly?  There are complaints about the real world being messy, not black and white; that simple solutions just do not exist. 

I am not so very sure that is the case.  The answers to most scientific equations tend to boil down to standard equations that many memorize as a child.  I mean even the English language is comprised of only 26 letters, yet we continue to write about new ideas and create new characters.  

It seems that reality is not as complicated as we make it.  What if our minds throw in too many what ifs, to the possibilities of the future, and that is where the world gets grey and messy?

Would you agree with me, dear reader?


Friday, May 13, 2016

A Character Takes Form

Sitting back and listening to others talk always reveals thought in a new light.  While I was sitting on a bench yesterday, waiting for my afternoon class to start, I listened in on a conversation between two girls.  They did not even notice I was there.   

They were discussing an assignment they have on Peter Pan.  More specifically the concept of Peter Pan often played by a woman for on stage productions.  As they continued, discussing the need for Peter Pan to look younger as the reasons, I started to wonder about how different life would be for me if I had been the opposite of myself… like Peter Pan, a boy, acted by a woman.   

Would I enjoy searching for stories around me?  Would I care to sit still long enough to listen in on other’s conversations?  Or would I be full with a drive to be active in my surroundings?  Building friendships with many other guys and girls simply because I enjoyed having a busy schedule…  

James re-entered my mind.  He will become that version of me - the what if I had been the opposite… a refracted, altered, version of the me I am.   

James is a college student, at a big state school.  He received a scholarship for baseball because he had an amazingly accurate throw.    

His world is full of action, sports to play, games to win, people to hang out with.  People always notice James as he walks into a room because he walks with confidence.  He is tall, strong, sure, just as so many athletes are, right?  He goes up to new people and says hi, simply because they are new.  (You see that is so not me... )  

James is so sure he knows what is in front him, what his life holds that he doesn’t second guess many things at all.  He just keeps moving forward, knowing that while he is in school, he will play baseball, and then he will be an architect. He will design grand buildings where other people do important things.    

The thing is, life never flows the path one foresees, does it?    

You see, dear reader, I have been thinking about James, the refraction of the images around me, and building this story for so long that it is changing over and over.    

James has his life figured out - his college goals, his career goals.   

Now that the character is formed, I must focus on the conflict, the twist, the drama that will bring the story to life.  And that, my dear reader, is what I will leave you with - what twist draws you in?


Friday, May 6, 2016

Writing Outside of Paper

I was running late for class yesterday. Lucky for me, the teacher was also. 

Unfortunately, Providence hasn't had a history of favoring me, but once in a while, meaning I'm on my own for a time. I will have to set my alarm earlier so I can get my writing done I suppose? 

Have you ever found this strange, dear Reader, that writers tend to do the most of and their best writing when they are away from a pen and pages?

I say, writers, though I guess that's just a broad assumption I'm making, that all writers are this way. I suppose I made that assumption because I am at my best when away from anything I can write on. Or I was yesterday when racing across campus.

The fountain I have passed on my way from class to class always seems to remind me of the story “Refraction” and my previously asked the question “Have you ever looked at yourself or anything in the water?” 

When I passed the fountain yesterday, my mind just clicked, I thought what would I see in the refraction of the fountain’s water?  How would this differ from the pencil? The fountain was turned off yesterday, making it the perfect time for gazing into its waters, which is what I found myself doing in spite of my rush yesterday. But, as I turned back around to make my way over I was almost too nervous to look! 

As I leaned over the edge, and I saw my reflection, there I was. The shadow of the sun over my head slightly distorted my face.  Standing there I begin to smile. I was bending and waving in the water. It was entirely a different view from my pencil in the glass of water, the distortions making it appear as broken. But my face was still whole. The fountain had a small ripple that my face waved in rhythm with. 

This is where I began writing without paper.

The character James, my protagonist in "Refraction", would view himself differently? Wouldn’t he? Would his reflection resemble mine? Or is it a different reflection all together? Does he see himself as I see him or does he view himself with a different light as if he were viewing at an earlier time of day with the sun behind his back?  The light would be different as well as the shadow it reflected. His character is set in my mind, but as I looked at my own reflection, I wonder if his personality is indeed defined in the character I have drawn for myself? Just a slight variation in the water from a single droplet can create a small ripple effect causing my reflection to move while completely distorting my view to a new perspective of Refraction.

I remember as a child going to the beach and putting my feet just at the waters’ edge.  I could see through the water my toes as they wiggled.  I watched as the Guppies swim past, and as I tried to reach down and grab them. Somehow, I always missed them.  I thought I wasn’t fast enough to catch them,  but now I understand the concept of Refraction.  It wasn’t my speed; it was Refraction as well as the light from the sun.  Refraction was the cause of my distortion, allowing me to believe they were right there at my feet.  When putting my hands into the water I assumed I could just pick them up right from where I stood.

Looking back at the fountain from yesterday, It's odd how writing without paper works. Nothing is concrete; everything is always flexing or waving. I felt distantly close to my story, almost if a reader discovering my own book. My perspective rippled and waved when I was outside my pages. The feeling being something like seeing a reflection of my written words.

I see Refraction is a little deeper than I first acknowledged.


Friday, April 22, 2016

Quickening Fairy

I love the long-winded eloquence of books sometimes, fiction or not. It’s like I can organize my own musings in some kind of sensible string.

The key word in those last two sentences is “sometimes”. There comes a time when you need an obvious proverb. An Aesop’s fable. Even a parable from Jesus! Just something quick and short and on-the-nose like that. The world needs more of that, don’t you think?

Why, for example, can’t there be a short explanation for the meaning of life that sums up good and satisfies (like a Snickers bar)? The long explanations go ‘round and ‘round, examining all the angles, but I’m not sure they settle anywhere. I don’t even know what I read in some of those situations.

Perhaps one day.


What do you think is the balancing point between artful weaving and getting to the point?

Also, what should I do with my life next semester? I’ve put off registering for classes too long for my own happiness. They need to be diverse enough to help me be a well-rounded writer, but related enough for me to actually finish school one day.

That, my reader, is a point I wish I could reach already, instead of the back-and-forth of decisions and consequences.

Anyone want to wave a wand and make my mind up for me? That would be great.  


Friday, April 15, 2016

Hopeful Fairy

wonder if big authors ever buy their own books once they are in print. I wonder if they sit with a cookie and a coffee and savor the story like I do. One day, when I am published, I am going to have a book club. In that club, we will read my books and stories by other writers, published or not. Because wouldn’t it be nice for others to see that a famous published author is still human and still reads and still doesn’t understand every metaphor in every story?

You know, dear reader, a club like that might be necessary now, after what I saw a few evenings ago.

It was entirely too good outside for me to stay in. So, like one of the characters I have been playing around with in my head, I made the bold choice to go outside and just meet somebody. As luck would have it, Danika had her door open to clear the air from her failed pie. I know this because she got the jump on me and called me in.

Before it really settled that I was in a stranger’s house (albeit a very friendly stranger), she had me batting the air with a dish towel and spilling the usual meeting-a-new-person facts about myself. And then Tyrone came in. And Chandler and Kelly and Spectra (that is really her name) and Amy and….

It was a dinner party. And it was...amazing. I like people and all, but I like them more when they are fictional. That evening made me think that maybe, possibly, I should get out just a little more.

But what I saw that spurred this post: Danika, the life of the party, even in spite of her lackluster baking efforts, got a moment alone to start cleaning up dishes (she is the perfect hostess and would NOT allow guests to do anything but enjoy themselves). Her face was different, though. The energy was gone (and I know it wasn’t the dishes that took it). She is probably only a couple of years older than me, but she looked like a lifetime of struggle had etched itself into her face and shoulders.

For whatever reason, one of her random comments from when she burned the pie came to me: “Gaah, I never, ever get this right.”

It seemed normal enough. I’m sure I said something affirming in reply. But I wonder now how long she’s been struggling to get that pie right, looking at the perfect picture and missing each time. I wonder what else she is struggling to do. Or be.

I bet that hers would be one of the more interesting stories in my book club. Maybe it would even be her break into act two of her life, where things finally start to change for her. Especially when she sees that she’s not the only struggler.  


Friday, April 8, 2016

Mr. Canezzle is a Magical Hobo

Once again, I find myself with no time this week to write. I felt that with this being the case, I would post another story from my childhood for you to enjoy.

A Prequel To "Mr. Canezzle is a Teacher" By Lily Schreiber

Mr. Canezzle The Magical Hobo was on his typical corner performing tricks and illusions for the people on the sidewalk. 

“Is that not such a good name?” Mr. Canezzle thought. “Sidewalk, it’s a place where you can WALK beside all the buildings. So why did everyone seem to be running today?” 

But just as soon as he asked, the answer hit him…literally. A newspaper came flying out of nowhere straight into Mr. Canezzle’s face, making Mr. Canezzle drop his rabbit he had just pulled out of his hat. The rabbit hit the ground and took his chance; he ran to freedom! However, when he reached the road and saw the danger that laid ahead, he quickly moved back to his hat. In which he decided that captivity was not all that bad. 

But now back to Mr. Canezzle. The headlines of the newspaper that hit Mr. Canezzle said “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree.” 

“Aha!” Mr. Canezzle said “They're all late for work because they had to stop to read this article. That’s why they are running.”

Now this answer seemed logical to Mr. Canezzle, and it could be the reason everyone was running…but probably not for right below the headline “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree” were the words “Day Light Savings Time” And that was really why everyone was running. They all (except for the bosses) had forgotten to reset their clocks and now were almost an HOUR late for work!

Back to Mr. Canezzle who is completely still, in a trance of some sort...but what could have created this trance? Could it be the giant spinning hypnotizing wheel on the other side of the road? Or maybe the man waving his pocket watch back and forth, back and forth? No, it was none of these things, indeed, the “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree” headline head caught his attention and he was now intently reading the newspaper. He was so caught up in the newspaper that he failed to notes Mr. Smith, the high school English teacher, who came flying by him at a full flag run into “Radio Show”, a rip off of “Radio Shack”. However, as soon as Mr. Smith, the high school English teacher, entered “Radio Show” an alarm went off saying he had won a prize for being the one-hundredth person to enter “Radio Show.” You see “Radio Show” did not get much business on the account that “Radio Shack” was just across the street, and most people went to it.

To fully understand what happened next, you must know a little bit about this town Mr. Canezzle was in. So this town had only one hospital, The Mount Everest hospital, or Mount Everest as the locals called it. Now The Mount Everest hospital was the only four stories building in town, and the Emergency Room was on the top floor. (The hospital was originally only three stories, however, It turns out when they made the building they forgot the emergency room. Thus, they simply decided that they would add another floor on top for the ER. Besides riding in a helicopter to the ER is so much better than a car). So when someone had to go to the ER they (the locals that is) would say the person was taking a trip to the top of Mount Everest.

Okay, you know about Mount Everest hospital and the Emergency Room we can go back to Mr. Smith, who is overjoyed at winning a lifetime supply of dry erase markers. So Mr. Smith in all his excitement went running out in the streets to announce his winnings to the world, however, when Smith ran out the door to “Radio Show” he failed to see a small rabbit hopping across the sidewalk. Yes indeed this was Mr. Canezzle’s rabbit who was trying again at freedom…only to find that cars were not the only things he had to worry about, there were also shoes. And the first shoes Mr. Canezzle’s rabbit found were Mr. Smith’s. Seeing the danger of the shoe that was threatening to make him permanently part of the sidewalk, Mr. Canezzle’s Rabbit ran back for his hat, in the process tripping Mr. Smith sending all two hundred and thirty-seven pounds of Mr. Smith hurling to the sidewalk. Now Mr. Smith was not the most graceful man on the earth…no not at all! Mr. Smith landed right on his arm, putting it at an odd angle. 

Mr. Canezzle, hearing the commotion and seeing his rabbit looking very guilty as it ran back into his hat, decided that he must do what he could do to help the poor man. Mr. Canezzle dropped his newspaper, pick up his rabbit and hurried over to Mr. Smith. 

“Tell this Man you're sorry,” Mr. Canezzle said to his rabbit. “Tell this Man you're sorry,” Mr. Canezzle said again as he healed the rabbit up to Mr. Smith. The rabbit’s ears twitched a little and then fell limp, which is rabbit talk for I am sorry. “Thank you, now go back to your hat and stay there!” Mr. Canezzle ordered the rabbit. “Mr. Sir. Dude, are you alright?” Mr. Canezzle asked Mr. Smith, who now appeared to be in great pain. 

Now when Mr. Canezzle noticed that Mr. Smith’s arm was broken, he was overwhelmed with compassion and know he had to do whatever he could to help him, after all, it was his rabbit that made the accident. 

Now let us skip through time about three hours. Okay, now you are, yes you, you're sitting in your English class. It’s your last class for the day before you can go home and do all that homework your algebra teacher gave you…yeah. Well, as you sit there waiting for your teacher, who is already 5 minutes late for class. You begin thinking about how you can break the news to algebra that you think he should stop looking for his X because you don’t think she will be coming back. 

Then suddenly the classroom door flies open. In walks a well-dressed man…well you assume his clothes were nice at one point... It also seems this man has no fashion sense on the account that he is wearing striped suspenders, a plaid shirt…and a belt?…Hold up! This man that has just come into your classroom is wearing suspenders…and a belt…with a plaid shirt. 

“Hello, class,” the plaid shirt, suspenders-wearing, man began, “I am Mr. Canezzle, I will be filling in for your normal teacher today on the account that he has won a radio show contest, and is taking a one day trip to the top of Mount Everest.”

You find this quite strange, because your teacher, Mr. Smith, is strongly agents radio, has a great fear of snow and does not like the feeling you get from going outside.


Now you probably are wondering why Mr. Canezzle is in your classroom. Right. Well, see when the ER people got to Mr. Smith, Mr. Canezzle overheard them say Mr. Smith was a teacher at the high school. Being so overwhelmed with compassion for the kids that might have to get out of school early because they had no teacher, and wanting to fix the mistake his rabbit had done, Mr. Canezzle took the place as the teacher for Mr. Smith. However, as for the story Mr. Canezzle told about Mr. Smith, well that is what Mr. Canezzle calls situational truth. See Mr. Canezzle has learned that depending on the situation if you just give part of the facts of what happened then people will draw a different conclusion as to what happened. See Mr. Canezzle just told you that Mr. Smith "won a radio show contest, and is taking a one day trip to the top of Mount Everest," which is completely accurate. But without the info about Mount Everest hospital and the Emergency Room, you would think Mr. Smith was really on his way to the top of Mount Everest because he had won a radio show contest. But really, that's not what Mr. Canezzle told you. See, the statements Mr. Canezzle said was entirely accurate; your logic is just what was false.

The End

Friday, April 1, 2016

Trigger Fairy?

I should give adults more credit. My neighbor's father had positive, constructive, useful feedback on my story. I applaud the man for being mature enough to put any personal opinions about me aside for the review. Of course, it is possible that his son has not said anything to him about me. It is also possible that the weird, stony looks he gives me are a declaration of his undying love. Yeah.  

Talk of adults makes me think, though. I never thought they had brains or feelings or the need to go to the bathroom. But I do. Technically, I am one of those. But, dear reader, I do not in any way feel like one.   

I love the freedom to do anything, any time it pleases me. It is like potential energy, though. The bow is drawn, the arrow pointed. I just don't know where to shoot. I have looked into the future and I am famous there. I have many best-selling novels there. People love me there. I am a writer.  

But I also wonder what will be next. What should I prepare for now so that when that one dream is real, all the others can be as well? Is it inconceivable that I might tire ever so slightly of that future life?  

I want to be like Leonardo Da Vinci. I want to be great. Writing is magnificent because as any character, in any world, I can be.  

Just, how do I make it real?  
Youth really is wasted on the young.  


Friday, March 25, 2016

A Series of Fragmented Events

My brain is scattered. That happens to me occasionally (read: always). I love my little creative fragments like dear children. I just wish they loved me enough to stop playing hide-seek in my mind.  

A while back, I read word of a study that said that ranting is actually not good for you. I wish now that I had given that article more than a glance. It would help me justify to myself why I shouldn’t spew vitriol about some of my classes, or express it with thinly veiled sarcasm. Ugh. Moving on.  

I see a neighbor of mine every now and then. It’s the kind of thing where we sometimes do, sometimes don’t acknowledge each other, but where I am sure that if we were to be stuck in a crucial baggage situation at an airport, we would commiserate like old comrades. It is unfortunate that it sometimes takes some kind of crisis for relationships to really start, don’t you think? I mean, my neighbor is right here, right now. What stops me from reaching out? See my last post for insight into that…  

Said neighbor’s father is going to be another set of eyes reviewing our work in my fiction writing class. Since ranting is bad for the constitution, I will refrain from recording my true feelings on the matter here (and in the unlikely occasion that he finds and reads this blog, understand). Suffice it to say that I am nervous. 

I feel like he will expect more of me because his son will have said something about me (like how unfriendly I am for not having properly introduced myself by now). I am honestly afraid that that will color his opinion of my work. This art is subjective enough without personal vendettas or preconceptions or--  You know what? I feel like I am on Tumblr right now, creating pseudo-emotional musings to justify my self-ascribed title of “artist” (disclaimer: not all Tumblr content is that. It just happens to be where I encounter it most). 

I am going to join someone else’s world now. 

Today, writing isn’t helping me move away from my nerves. My brain still feels like shattered glass. Thank the stars for fiction. And fairies.

I need fairies.