Dream Journal

I pull the book from the library shelf.

Why am I usually alone in here at the library?

The binding on the book is very old.


It smells of old cologne, like it had lain in a desk drawer or maybe a dresser?

I can hear the crinkle of the pages, as if they would crumble beneath my fingers if I were to flip them.


I begin to read about a man and his story of days of old.

He speaks of a different time and place, one of which I recognize…


How is this even possible?


.Lily

Poem

Alone at night, missing my childhood home,

A child’s memory of her mother.

Distinct memories of smelling baked pie,

The warmth of her love enduring through time.


What will I do without her beating heart?

My days are void of thought or conclusion.

Father will be destroyed, full of despair.

His breath is combined with hers, now left null.


An animal caught in a snare, broken.

Surrendered to what may come, left wounded.

She struggles to set herself free and tears,

Eventually she lies down and twists.


She breaks free with an unknown destiny…

And strives to mend what time alone could heal.


.Lily

Dreams or Reality Sonnet

When I have spent my nights awake, turning.
My head begins to spin again, aghast.
Remembering my dream, futile yearning.
Future dreams or from my memories past?

Then it becomes a wall of books and shelves.
Inside a building filled with dim light.
The moon casts shadows over our former selves.
We have morphed into destiny tonight.

Then I see the Dream Journal for myself.
My eyes are ever open wondering what calls?
It is tucked amongst the old like Delph.
A vast world unbeknownst, except to walls.

But then I see the Dream has become real.
Where will this lead me, how am I to feel?

.Lily

Remembered Dreams

I remembered my dream last night, at least some of it! How Strange! I don't remember my dreams usually. I had a book. The book was old and worn, it read Dream Journal on the cover.

I can remember opening and the pages having written words on them with different color pencils, I think. It was so vivid, so real. I actually woke up in a sweat. I went out to the store to pick up a new journal book. Let's see if I can remember them again, tonight!

I wish I could remember all that I just read in the book. I was somewhere else when I found the book, but I don't remember where I was? Maybe I will remember today.

Oh, I almost forgot! It was another great small group on Sunday evening with Danika. My Mom is feeling better and I told her how everyone is praying for her.

I think this faith healing is going to work. God is going to cure her, I am sure of it! Till next week, my dear readers.

.Lily

Back to Class

“Are you sure you are alright to drive, Lily?” Mom said.

“Yes, Mom, I will be fine!” Lily said.

“Danika, you will help drive?” Mom said.

“Yes, Ma'am! I will!” said Danika.

“Get in the car Danika, hurry up!” I mumbled so Mom couldn’t hear me!

I love my Mom, but it is time for us to get back to school!!

I think I lost two whole days with that earache!

My mind keeps churning over the dream or delusion or whatever it was. It was vivid!

“103-degree fever will do that to you!” the doctor told my family.

I thought I was starting to get another earache, but I must have scared my family and Danika pretty bad. They had taken me to the doctor’s office during Christmas, and I don’t even remember that part.

Danika had asked me just as many times if I am ok as my Mom and Dad had asked me the same question.

We finally get to the gas station and filled up, so with road trip snacks in hand, and we are on our way back to school.

Four more hours to our little apartment and back to the books.

Oh Yeah! I almost forgot.. next week will finally be my launch of my very first e-book!! Don’t forget to look for it!

I have been so busy this Christmas, I almost forgot to post what I have poured my heart and soul into over the past several months, and it is coming out next week!!

So here is to another year down and great success to my e-book.

I will continue to work on and decipher what it is I saw in my dream... reality... or whatever that was I experienced for two days!

It’s just too much to write all at once. Some things are spotty. Danika has already offered to help. Thank God she took notes to what I was saying, lol! She says there is much more to what I said...I am not sure if that is good or bad...Time will tell!

.Lily

Final Draft

So, I finally got my final draft back, all corrected, from Mrs. Jacoby! I was able to see Tyrone one more time to get the graphics done, just right!

Writing a book is a lot of work and my ebook is much shorter than any novel I have ever read. I feel like this was a good test for me, although I don’t think I did so well with all the emotions that go along with such a hefty goal.

I was a little harsh last week with the students during tutoring last week in the library. I was becoming frustrated and I don’t usually get upset. I am sure I will have to keep my feelings more in check when taking on such a project as this.

I got to show Danika my book last night and I think she was more thrilled than even I am. I still have to add here, that if it wasn't for Danika, my book might not have ever been written.

Well, we will just have to see what the critics have to say. I mean it is my very first book. It is well written, if you ask me. I can’t wait! The launch is next month.

Wish me luck!!!

.Lily

Tutoring Again

So here I am once again in the library helping other students with their writing assignments. I am usually helping those with English Composition or Creative Writing, sometimes it is for another class.

As I had a few papers to finish up, I am noticing that my level of writing seems superior to the ones I am reading and correcting now. I have been writing since I was a little girl so maybe that’s why mine are so much better.

Some of these papers I have read look like a young kid wrote them. I am thinking to myself, I hope this guy passes this semester.

I remember back to the summer when I went with one of the guys to the Recreation Center and how he tutored young students. I feel like I am back there again.

I thought most people could write fairly well? Maybe I was wrong. Looks like I will be here for awhile and I have so much to do with my own workload and finishing my own book.

I can only help the students so much. Maybe if they took the time they needed instead of rushing through assignment and just writing anything down, they would see its importance and know what it is they are writing about.

I guess I will get to my book later tomorrow, it’s going to be a long night!

.Lily

Ugh...The Disappointment of the Day

I go into Creative Writing class, and I am in a Great Mood! I got the chance to work with Tyrone on graphics yesterday for my eBook, and my spirit has carried over into today! It was exciting to look at different ways we might go about choosing the graphics for my first eBook.

Mrs. Jacoby said she needed to speak with me after class, so I figured she must be done with editing. This is great! It’s all falling into place. Maybe editing a book wasn’t as bad as I expected it could be.

The bell rings and I can hardly wait to get to speak with Mrs. Jacoby, of course, today, other students have questions? No one ever has questions for Mrs. Jacoby? Finally, my turn! I can already see my eBook sitting on her desk… Red Marks are everywhere! How is this possible? I edit for a living! As I flip through the first few pages, I understand I have more work to do and possibly another rewrite for my future! She can tell from my expression this wasn’t what I expected; I am not sure what my face is saying, but I swallowed my heart and my pride! Mrs. Jacoby is trying to comfort me with words. I can only hear part of what she is saying “It’s fine. Only a few changes”….she says. “Thanks, Mrs. Jacoby, I do appreciate all your help!” is all I can manage to say before heading to my next class. I slip my eBook back into my bag.

Now I feel like the athlete guys when they lose a game. I was sure it was well written. Just like, I am sure, they were sure they had practiced enough. I will have to go over it tonight.

This will take longer than I thought.

.Lily

Editing and Graphic Design

I think I told you in an earlier post how I took Creative Writing this year. It was a wise decision! I just love my teacher Mrs. Jacoby. She reminds me a lot of my mother. I had written a short story when I was much younger and I wrote it on my blog several months ago. If you would like to read it, in case you missed it, it’s under blog post titled A Blast From My Past. Mr. Canezzle is his name and the main character in the short story. Anyways, my mom would always help me with my writings and “edit” my papers.

I was talking to Mrs. Jacoby at the end of the class and telling her how I was at the end of my book that I am writing and she said she would love to read it! Yes!! Of course she could read it, I would love that! I was thrilled even more when she offered to edit my book! I am really excited. Who better than an English teacher to edit my book!

As luck was obviously on my side today, I had the book with me and so I gave it to her. She said she would need a week or two to look it over and of course I said that was just fine. She had a lot of class work to go over for all her classes since it is the beginning of the new school year and I can absolutely understand that.

Then when I turn around to head over to the library...there is Tyrone, he has her class this period. Remember him from Danika’s get together? Remember the one where Danika and I actually introduced ourselves?

He must have overheard our conversation because he offered to help me with my graphics for my book!!! Of course, he is a graphics major. I did not know that!!

In one day I have found an editor and a graphics guy to help me with my book and it’s free!!!

Now I have to get over to the library to pick up my schedule for tutoring students who either take English Comp. or Creative Writing classes. It is on my way to the next class and if I don’t hurry I am going to be late!! I promised myself this year I would stick to my schedule. No more excuses for being late to class. I hate being late, don’t you?

A girl has to have a job to pay for all the extra stuff she needs!! It’s a perfect job for me to read other people’s work and you know how I love to read!!

Until next time!!

.Lily

The 4th, The BBQ, and The People Watching

Danika and I were able to both go to Mike’s house to have a BBQ on Saturday for the 4th of July.  He knows a lot of people which was great because it gave me quite a bit of material to work with for my research.  I don’t know about you, but I am a people watcher when I don’t have my head buried in a book, or I am not thinking and writing about my book.

Since I don’t go to parties very often, if ever; I brought along my notebook and pen figuring this was a perfect opportunity to do some “research.”

I was getting a drink when one of the girls came over from another table nearby and asked what I was doing with a notebook. So I told her I was just writing down some notes for a book I was working on over summer break.  She thought that was a great idea, and I told her I don’t get out that much with school and work, and she said she felt the same way.  She was invited by a friend to come and hang out too.  Good.  Something we both have in common, I thought.

So we started talking about how we both are “people watchers” unless I am thinking about my story of course.  She seemed kind and someone I could easily talk to (not like I am normally, where I feel I have to say something or it becomes an awkwardly silent, forced conversation).  

I could see Danika amongst a group of hungry looking people around the grill.  Talking and laughing, while we sat quietly watching them.  It was "small talk" between this new girl and me; she was going on her second year to at the university.  She also had been working part-time at one of the stores in town.  She wasn’t dating anyone either.

She gave me some names of the other players on the team who couldn’t go to the lunch last week.  Some more interviews, possibly?  I had told her about the lunch and my interview with them.

Danika waived me over, and I excused myself and joined her by the grill and got introduced to some more people. 

I say hello. I think I can remember a couple of their names? I can’t exactly take notes right now, can I?  It will have to wait until later tonight.

I watch as some people are swimming, some are dancing to the music.  People are laughing and having a great time.  To think I have been missing out on this?  It isn’t like what I thought at all.  I am glad I met Danika; it helps that she is the exact opposite of me.  In just a short amount of time, we have become friends.  I have met some new people; I have been able to start writing my book this summer, and I think I am finally able to have some fun and just relax a little bit, and it’s nice...to a point! I couldn’t do this all day like my character, James, could. But it’s nice right now, observing people as if I wasn’t there, just watching them from a distance.  How they act or move.  The way a person smiles.  How they dress, the way they dance.  The girls who won’t go swimming because they don’t want to mess up their hair or makeup, lol.  

Just going up to someone and asking them questions isn’t normally something I would do, but after Danika suggested it last week by giving me the idea to interview the players and doing some research for my story, I think I kind of I like it.  It takes me into a new way of writing I hadn’t thought of before.  Although I have seen other authors do this; it is new to me, though.

I guess if you are going to be an author, you also have to learn how to ask the right questions and speak to the right people.  

Well, I am about done with my outline for my book.  I think I have enough material to redo the beginning chapters correctly. Next week I have been invited by one of the players I interviewed to observe him in some tutoring he does for a rec center with some local kids.  I finally chose to go, and now I can hardly wait; I have to see this!

Until next week my dear readers.

.Lily

Refraction Research (Part 2)

I was able to have lunch with friends of Danika’s after the game last week.  It didn't take long for Danika to get down to business, as we were still waiting to be seated when she dived into the conversation about how I was writing a book about some sports players and needed help.  She asked if it was alright if I asked them some questions, and they didn’t mind for me to interview a few of them while we ate lunch.  I just wanted to ask them a couple of things about them and the game they were playing.  A few of the guys said: “Yeah, sure they wouldn’t mind an interview.”  “Of course, lol.”

The hostess came over and seated us at a couple of tables, which all set right next to each other, but the guys just pushed the tables closer anyway, so we could all sit together at one long table.  The waitress comes right over and hand us our menus and asked what we would like to drink.  I went to sit down, and the two guys, who said they wouldn’t mind me interviewing them, sat on either side of me.  So I grabbed my pen and paper from out of my purse and began to ask them some questions.

I wanted to know what made this ‘game’ their choice of sport? (Can’t give away what sport the book is about yet.)

Subject A:  “I’ve been playing since I was nine years old.  My dad and I watched every game together, and when the little league tryouts came around the first year I could join, dad and I made it our sole goal for me to play baseball.  I worked hard to make it in on that first team, but once I made it, I fell in love with playing the game.”

Subject B: “I didn’t play sports when I was younger. I did like to run, though, which I guess means I was bound to have someone during my freshman year here ask me to try out.  Yeah, Mike over there thought I would be good at it since we ran every morning together.  He thought I might like it since part of the training was running.  I like to workout, and the running gave me some conditioning and endurance.  I mean, I liked other sports and watched a lot of sports on TV, but it wasn’t until my freshman year here that I decided to try out, but I made the team so...  I was surprised, especially since I had never played before. Yeah, but Mike taught me a lot about what I was doing wrong, and we practiced hard all year.  I’m not going to lie; that first year wasn’t great, but I learned a lot with the coaches and the guys helping me out.”

Subject A:  “We spend a good amount of time together, on and off the field.  We’d help each other out whenever possible; we’re like an extended family.  When something isn’t going right in the game, or we have problems with school, or our girlfriends, or home, we rely on each other." 

(At this point, Subject A turned way from me, to address the rest of his team.) "Like the time, David’s Dad was wicked sick. You guys remember that? A bunch of us guys got together and helped to cut their lawn and clean their garage to sell some things at a garage sale for the family to be able to pay some bills. Remember that?" (The team nodded as they all looked off in space as if to keep in mind that time for themselves.)

(Subject A, turned back to address me.) "There wasn’t a lot we could do, but we pulled together, after all, we had to do something.  We couldn’t let David and his dad go through that alone.  If one of us is off on our game, we try and help them out.  I know they got my back just like I got theirs.”

Subject B:  “We love the game!  For some of us, it’s why we even have a chance to go to college.  There are scholarships for us, so that helps with tuition, books, and fees.  Some of us have jobs, and others have a family, they need to care for.  I want to play the game so someday maybe I will be able to be a coach...  Hey! You know Lily, actually, next week I will be doing some tutoring. Yeah, I help out at this rec center.  Would you like to go?  You could see some of what I do off the field and stuff. It's a chance to do some more research." 

The interviewing stopped here, as the other players started joking about how sly that last guy was in trying to ask me out on a date. That made me a little uncomfortable; I have never been on a date. I guess the guys picked up on this because they all stopped laughing, and began apologizing, saying they were just picking on the other guy. Later on, Danika said she would go with me to the rec center so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. So, I don’t know; we’ll see if I go or not.

As I sat there amazed the time had gone by so fast, I realized that by asking them a few simple questions (at Danika's suggestion for me to do some research) that she was spot on, and absolutely correct: my opinion of these guys was a skewed one.  I watched them laugh together.  They were being loud, joking around, and having a real time, some friends just having lunch together, enjoying the fact they had won their game!

As we finished up and said our goodbyes, I thanked the two guys who allowed me to interview them. They told me I could ask them questions, anytime.  They couldn't wait to read my “book.”

I am going to have to do some more research.  I will have to make a list of what I think my readers would like to know about the players and the game.

I am glad I had my notebook and pen in my purse; something writers should always have with them in case they have an idea for a story.  I always try and be prepared and have a notebook and pen with me, especially lately, because I keep coming up with ideas or questions and at least I can write it down and go back to it later.  I don’t want to forget something that might be important later.

I am glad I have the summer to be able to write; it looks like I am going to need it!

.Lily

Refraction Research (Part 1)

I was finally able to convince Danika to read what I have written so far for my story about James.  She seemed to be rather surprised by my writings.  She said they were good except for two things, I don't know anything about sports and how I feel about jocks is inaccurate, according to her.  So now we are going to see a game with some of her friends so I can change some of the things I wrote and where I would be able to  insert about the camaraderie among the guys.  

Danika and I head over to a friend’s game.  It is almost over as Danika waves to the group of guys she calls her friends, they wave back.  She says she comes out to see them as much as possible.  She met them a few years ago when she was in her freshman year and she thought the same things as I did, just a bunch of jocks until she got to know them. 

They come off the field and introduce themselves to me, they won the game and are ecstatic to say the least.  Before I could say a word Danika asked if they were going to get lunch now and the tall guy answers her, “Yeah, of course. I am starving!”  

I guess we are going to lunch with the guys now?  Danika looks at me and says: “Isn’t this great?  Now you can do some of the research on your book and interview each one of them for some background on how and why they love the game.

Great Danika!  I think to myself, thanks so much!  I always wanted to interview a bunch of sweaty jocks!  As we are talking I am guessing they are going to the locker rooms to shower and change while Danika and I stand there and wait for them.  

She tells me: “I think you are going to be surprised about what you originally thought and how it will change your opinion after interviewing them.  Some of them are really amazing!”

Now I  am wondering if I did the right thing in actually showing her my work?! I am nervous and feel very awkward.  What in the world am I going to ask these guys?

As we head over to get lunch my mind is in overdrive, the questions just keep coming.  Who will I interview first?  Should I ask them about the game?  When did they start to play?  What do you think of people saying you are just dumb jocks?  No, scratch that.  Some of these guys are pretty BIG!  

Oh Danika, I don't know if I should hug you or never to speak to you again!  Only time will tell.  Wish me luck, I think I am going to need it!

.Lily

Spaces

Being in your space is somewhat of a luxury.  I suppose?

Living among others is entirely different.  Sleeping and waking patterns are different and not chronologically synced, morning rituals are to each being his or her own, and so on.  

I’m wondering if all new roommates go through this transition, they must?

Living at home is comfortable, no awkwardness there.

Trying to make coffee quietly is a new concept or rather, I haven’t had to do this in a rather long time.

Danika and I haven’t been able to see each other since we moved into our “new” apartment.  She just got back in and is sleeping late, which I imagine is unusual for her.  This does give me a good time to write a little more about James and my short story.  It is quiet, and with the early morning sunrise visible through our window, I feel the inspiration flowing.

I would like to think I could allow Danika to read the material I have written so far; she is a rather good editor after all.  But I am also quite nervous.  I don't ever let anyone read my stories or writings because they are so personal to me, but I feel she would be honest and tell me what she thinks.

I like that we are opposites.  Danika is so spontaneous, and sometimes I wonder what would I be like if I could do that, just be carefree and not have a ton of lists to make sure I haven’t missed a detail.  Winging it is not something I would usually even think about doing, but watching her, and how she seems to allow nothing to bother her, I do kind of wish I had that within me.  I don’t know; maybe I do and just haven’t unlocked it yet?  Taking a step and not having things planned would be like a vacation for me, I think that would make life easier, except if I did I would be so anxious.  Danika just came back from a mission trip, with her Church in upper North Carolina, to help a mission team who lives up there, and many of the people she took the trip with she didn’t even know.  I don't think I am quite that brave.  Maybe while living with Danika, I can learn how she can do these things.

She seems to be so casual about her decisions, and even now, she has been in school for a couple of years and is still unsure of her major.  I don't know what that is like, I always knew I wanted to be an author since I was a young girl.  Danika jokes about when she finally grows up maybe then she will know what career option she will choose.  She is, as I said: an incredible editor, but she seems to be good at almost anything she does.  Oh, of course!  Apple pies!  She is still trying to master that, haha!  

Okay, off of Danika, and back to the apartment.  I have unpacked the last of my belongings and taken many walks around our neighborhood just enjoying the quiet.  I like it here, and it seems to be helping me with building up my character and the storyline.  I hope to have Refraction done by the end of the summer.  However, I do want it to be perfect before I put it on my blog and have people amazed by the story.  

I have set some attainable goals this summer and am ready to try new things by stepping out of myself and learning some new stuff.  Being around Danika has shown me I have been all by myself this whole year, but I like my time alone, and I have enjoyed being by myself these past few weeks, but as I have walked every morning and said hello to the neighbors I almost feel like Danika is who James needs to be.  My Refraction.

I am such a lucky girl, a soon to be author, new friends and my story bursting through my mind ready to be written.

Well, let’s see what today brings?

.Lily

Alone with an Introvert (Exclamation of my own Character)

Well, I made the big step and moved into an apartment with Danika while classes were finishing up last week. Danika was heading out of town for a missionary trip as we finished up our last class; thus, the friendly apartment manager had let us move in a few days earlier so we could get all of Danika’s stuff set before she left for her trip. It has been busy, and I have finally had time to relax a little bit and thought I should write some.


How nice it is to have the apartment, slightly more comfortable than a dorm room, especially all to myself, at least for this week. Danika has a few trips planned for this summer, so I will get to have the place to myself a few times, and I hope I can write during those times. Danika will be back this weekend, so I wanted to stay in and write while I still had the chance, but I have decided to get something to eat. I love Indian food, but the apt manager also said there was a good little restaurant only a few blocks from here, I might just do something out of the ordinary and get some food because I am starving.


I just finished unpacking a few more of my things; I didn't have that much to pack in the first place, just a few things (i.e. some clothes and a couple of boxes).  Danika though, she had stuff to move since she has collected a few more boxes than myself, of course, she has been here for a year longer than me.  She also had some newer pieces of furniture which I am quite comfortable writing in, especially her big oversized chair.  I may have to confiscate that when she returns, it is perfect to hang your legs over the edge of the chair and write on the laptop, but as my hunger pains increase, I guess I better get down to the restaurant and get some food to eat.  I haven't picked up more than a few things for the apartment, but I don't feel like cooking right now.  If I am going to be an author I must have the time to write, but I also must eat!


I have had some time just to relax, though and reflect on how different I am from Danika. Danika is a real extrovert and can just relax in front of people and is sociable among others; they just seem to be attracted to her outgoing personality.  Although I wouldn't usually consider myself an introvert, I am reconsidering that opinion of myself to be incorrect.  I am not like Danika as she says hello to every person she walks past, and I am always having writing on my mind, so I am not paying attention to others.  I also seem to notice I am shyer than her; she always appears to know just what to say.  I wonder how it would be to walk in Danika's shoes, just a day, taking on new projects and traveling like she is this summer.


I could certainly use her stories in my stories; maybe this is where I can add the other side of me into the storyline.  How would she feel or how would I handle living in an apartment for the summer and starting my second year of college? What about having a job or interning as an editor at the library?  Taking a few bold steps into a future, I hadn't seen until now?  The possibilities are endless, aren’t they?  Where shall I go next?  Maybe it is just time to get some dinner?  I am starving now!  I love the aromas of the Indian food and wish I was back at home with the restaurant Mom and Dad always took me to while growing up.  What would I eat if I hadn't loved Indian food?  I wonder where James would like to eat?  I am sure he would have his plans and be ready to go out with his friends, or maybe he wouldn't plan at all and just wait for the phone call to go out because James' friends always call him first?  Hmm?  Where oh where shall I go?

Until next time,
.Lily

A Slice of Life

I had seen Danika a couple of times since the disaster with the apple pie.  We would say a quick hello or just a few simple words as we passed each other in the hall, coming and going in our busy schedules at school and while trying to catch up on my blog posts.

I liked her immediately that night she had “invited” me over.  She had asked that evening if we could meet for coffee at some point when things settled down, and we could sit and talk for awhile, so I told her sure.  

Doesn’t everybody say “sure” knowing lives at school keep us busy thus thinking to ourselves that wouldn’t happen, but not with Danika.  

She caught me yesterday in the hallway and said 10 o’clock tomorrow morning. I almost choked on my answer, sure I said, again.

~

I am getting ready to meet with Danika this morning and I step infront of the mirror. There stood my perfect reflection looking back at me. I am trying to recreate that day over and over again, when I swore I saw James, standing just so, leaning over the fountain.  Just one more glimpse was all I needed to be certain it was him!  I failed at every attempt.  

A knock on the door, it must be Danika.  Punctual, I like that!  I open the door, and she has such an energy about her even at 10:00  in the morning, ugh!  I am not awake yet.  I do need coffee!  She asks if I am ready, yes just grabbing my sandals as we head out the door.

As we are walking over to Dunkin Donuts, it is a beautiful day and quite a long walk, so we decide we are going to have ice coffees.  She begins to ask me several questions.  What am I doing this summer?  Am I going anywhere?  Will I be working?  The semester is over, and I am still thinking about all the writing I want to get out of my head and on to paper.

And then my mind froze.  Did Danika just ask me to be roommates with her?  She keeps on talking about how she was invited to go on two different mission trips this summer, and she would be gone for awhile, and that would allow me to have the place to myself and write.

I can’t believe this, but I am going to say yes!  This is going to be an interesting summer.  I look over into the store window and see our reflection or Refraction.  Hers, mine and possibly a third?  James!

.Lily

A Character Takes Form

Sitting back and listening to others talk always reveals thought in a new light.  While I was sitting on a bench yesterday, waiting for my afternoon class to start, I listened in on a conversation between two girls.  They did not even notice I was there.   

They were discussing an assignment they have on Peter Pan.  More specifically the concept of Peter Pan often played by a woman for on stage productions.  As they continued, discussing the need for Peter Pan to look younger as the reasons, I started to wonder about how different life would be for me if I had been the opposite of myself… like Peter Pan, a boy, acted by a woman.   

Would I enjoy searching for stories around me?  Would I care to sit still long enough to listen in on other’s conversations?  Or would I be full with a drive to be active in my surroundings?  Building friendships with many other guys and girls simply because I enjoyed having a busy schedule…  

James re-entered my mind.  He will become that version of me - the what if I had been the opposite… a refracted, altered, version of the me I am.   

James is a college student, at a big state school.  He received a scholarship for baseball because he had an amazingly accurate throw.    

His world is full of action, sports to play, games to win, people to hang out with.  People always notice James as he walks into a room because he walks with confidence.  He is tall, strong, sure, just as so many athletes are, right?  He goes up to new people and says hi, simply because they are new.  (You see that is so not me... )  

James is so sure he knows what is in front him, what his life holds that he doesn’t second guess many things at all.  He just keeps moving forward, knowing that while he is in school, he will play baseball, and then he will be an architect. He will design grand buildings where other people do important things.    

The thing is, life never flows the path one foresees, does it?    

You see, dear reader, I have been thinking about James, the refraction of the images around me, and building this story for so long that it is changing over and over.    

James has his life figured out - his college goals, his career goals.   

Now that the character is formed, I must focus on the conflict, the twist, the drama that will bring the story to life.  And that, my dear reader, is what I will leave you with - what twist draws you in?

.Lily

Quickening Fairy

I love the long-winded eloquence of books sometimes, fiction or not. It’s like I can organize my own musings in some kind of sensible string.

The key word in those last two sentences is “sometimes”. There comes a time when you need an obvious proverb. An Aesop’s fable. Even a parable from Jesus! Just something quick and short and on-the-nose like that. The world needs more of that, don’t you think?

Why, for example, can’t there be a short explanation for the meaning of life that sums up good and satisfies (like a Snickers bar)? The long explanations go ‘round and ‘round, examining all the angles, but I’m not sure they settle anywhere. I don’t even know what I read in some of those situations.

Perhaps one day.

~

What do you think is the balancing point between artful weaving and getting to the point?

Also, what should I do with my life next semester? I’ve put off registering for classes too long for my own happiness. They need to be diverse enough to help me be a well-rounded writer, but related enough for me to actually finish school one day.

That, my reader, is a point I wish I could reach already, instead of the back-and-forth of decisions and consequences.

Anyone want to wave a wand and make my mind up for me? That would be great.  

.Lily

Mr. Canezzle is a Magical Hobo

Once again, I find myself with no time this week to write. I felt that with this being the case, I would post another story from my childhood for you to enjoy.

A Prequel To "Mr. Canezzle is a Teacher" By Lily Schreiber

Mr. Canezzle The Magical Hobo was on his typical corner performing tricks and illusions for the people on the sidewalk. 

“Is that not such a good name?” Mr. Canezzle thought. “Sidewalk, it’s a place where you can WALK beside all the buildings. So why did everyone seem to be running today?” 

But just as soon as he asked, the answer hit him…literally. A newspaper came flying out of nowhere straight into Mr. Canezzle’s face, making Mr. Canezzle drop his rabbit he had just pulled out of his hat. The rabbit hit the ground and took his chance; he ran to freedom! However, when he reached the road and saw the danger that laid ahead, he quickly moved back to his hat. In which he decided that captivity was not all that bad. 

But now back to Mr. Canezzle. The headlines of the newspaper that hit Mr. Canezzle said “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree.” 

“Aha!” Mr. Canezzle said “They're all late for work because they had to stop to read this article. That’s why they are running.”

Now this answer seemed logical to Mr. Canezzle, and it could be the reason everyone was running…but probably not for right below the headline “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree” were the words “Day Light Savings Time” And that was really why everyone was running. They all (except for the bosses) had forgotten to reset their clocks and now were almost an HOUR late for work!


Back to Mr. Canezzle who is completely still, in a trance of some sort...but what could have created this trance? Could it be the giant spinning hypnotizing wheel on the other side of the road? Or maybe the man waving his pocket watch back and forth, back and forth? No, it was none of these things, indeed, the “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree” headline head caught his attention and he was now intently reading the newspaper. He was so caught up in the newspaper that he failed to notes Mr. Smith, the high school English teacher, who came flying by him at a full flag run into “Radio Show”, a rip off of “Radio Shack”. However, as soon as Mr. Smith, the high school English teacher, entered “Radio Show” an alarm went off saying he had won a prize for being the one-hundredth person to enter “Radio Show.” You see “Radio Show” did not get much business on the account that “Radio Shack” was just across the street, and most people went to it.

To fully understand what happened next, you must know a little bit about this town Mr. Canezzle was in. So this town had only one hospital, The Mount Everest hospital, or Mount Everest as the locals called it. Now The Mount Everest hospital was the only four stories building in town, and the Emergency Room was on the top floor. (The hospital was originally only three stories, however, It turns out when they made the building they forgot the emergency room. Thus, they simply decided that they would add another floor on top for the ER. Besides riding in a helicopter to the ER is so much better than a car). So when someone had to go to the ER they (the locals that is) would say the person was taking a trip to the top of Mount Everest.

Okay, you know about Mount Everest hospital and the Emergency Room we can go back to Mr. Smith, who is overjoyed at winning a lifetime supply of dry erase markers. So Mr. Smith in all his excitement went running out in the streets to announce his winnings to the world, however, when Smith ran out the door to “Radio Show” he failed to see a small rabbit hopping across the sidewalk. Yes indeed this was Mr. Canezzle’s rabbit who was trying again at freedom…only to find that cars were not the only things he had to worry about, there were also shoes. And the first shoes Mr. Canezzle’s rabbit found were Mr. Smith’s. Seeing the danger of the shoe that was threatening to make him permanently part of the sidewalk, Mr. Canezzle’s Rabbit ran back for his hat, in the process tripping Mr. Smith sending all two hundred and thirty-seven pounds of Mr. Smith hurling to the sidewalk. Now Mr. Smith was not the most graceful man on the earth…no not at all! Mr. Smith landed right on his arm, putting it at an odd angle. 

Mr. Canezzle, hearing the commotion and seeing his rabbit looking very guilty as it ran back into his hat, decided that he must do what he could do to help the poor man. Mr. Canezzle dropped his newspaper, pick up his rabbit and hurried over to Mr. Smith. 

“Tell this Man you're sorry,” Mr. Canezzle said to his rabbit. “Tell this Man you're sorry,” Mr. Canezzle said again as he healed the rabbit up to Mr. Smith. The rabbit’s ears twitched a little and then fell limp, which is rabbit talk for I am sorry. “Thank you, now go back to your hat and stay there!” Mr. Canezzle ordered the rabbit. “Mr. Sir. Dude, are you alright?” Mr. Canezzle asked Mr. Smith, who now appeared to be in great pain. 

Now when Mr. Canezzle noticed that Mr. Smith’s arm was broken, he was overwhelmed with compassion and know he had to do whatever he could to help him, after all, it was his rabbit that made the accident. 

Now let us skip through time about three hours. Okay, now you are, yes you, you're sitting in your English class. It’s your last class for the day before you can go home and do all that homework your algebra teacher gave you…yeah. Well, as you sit there waiting for your teacher, who is already 5 minutes late for class. You begin thinking about how you can break the news to algebra that you think he should stop looking for his X because you don’t think she will be coming back. 

Then suddenly the classroom door flies open. In walks a well-dressed man…well you assume his clothes were nice at one point... It also seems this man has no fashion sense on the account that he is wearing striped suspenders, a plaid shirt…and a belt?…Hold up! This man that has just come into your classroom is wearing suspenders…and a belt…with a plaid shirt. 

“Hello, class,” the plaid shirt, suspenders-wearing, man began, “I am Mr. Canezzle, I will be filling in for your normal teacher today on the account that he has won a radio show contest, and is taking a one day trip to the top of Mount Everest.”

You find this quite strange, because your teacher, Mr. Smith, is strongly agents radio, has a great fear of snow and does not like the feeling you get from going outside.

PAUSE!

Now you probably are wondering why Mr. Canezzle is in your classroom. Right. Well, see when the ER people got to Mr. Smith, Mr. Canezzle overheard them say Mr. Smith was a teacher at the high school. Being so overwhelmed with compassion for the kids that might have to get out of school early because they had no teacher, and wanting to fix the mistake his rabbit had done, Mr. Canezzle took the place as the teacher for Mr. Smith. However, as for the story Mr. Canezzle told about Mr. Smith, well that is what Mr. Canezzle calls situational truth. See Mr. Canezzle has learned that depending on the situation if you just give part of the facts of what happened then people will draw a different conclusion as to what happened. See Mr. Canezzle just told you that Mr. Smith "won a radio show contest, and is taking a one day trip to the top of Mount Everest," which is completely accurate. But without the info about Mount Everest hospital and the Emergency Room, you would think Mr. Smith was really on his way to the top of Mount Everest because he had won a radio show contest. But really, that's not what Mr. Canezzle told you. See, the statements Mr. Canezzle said was entirely accurate; your logic is just what was false.

The End

Outside Inside

Hello reader! Are you enjoying the springtime as much as I am? 

It is glorious to be able to go outside and spin and sit and just be warm. There are some particularly well-placed benches in the park nearby for me to go and jot down the myriad ideas in my head or scribble my observations on my surroundings. I love people-watching! And I love the outdoors! 

But okay, honestly I don’t really want to go outside much. After that first day of actually having a choice to be inside or outside, I’m...content. Outside is nice. Inside is too. The sun doesn’t burn my legs or blind my eyes or make me sleepy. There are no bugs. There’s a better internet connection (for all the research I am doing for when I write. Facebook is indoor people-watching). 

I think I am more in love with the idea of being outside than actually going there. Ever since my first Shakespeare analysis (Twelfth Night) when my english teacher said Orsino was in love with the idea of being in love, it has made me wonder what ideas I thrill to more than act on. The outdoors is one. I would go outside more, be adventurous more. But I am very much entertained by my own mind. You might see my body sitting somewhere, but I would be gone.

I will go outside, though. It is a good thing to do. 

“It’s time, it’s time. I’ve made up my mind. But I’ve changed my mind that I’ve made up my mind.” - The Brightest Of The Head by Starflyer59 

Actually I think, for now, I will stay inside and listen to that song. It is a really catchy song. I will look outside the window while I do it. How about that? 

.Lily

Blast From My Past

Last week was long and felt to have traveled no faster than a snail, however, the weekend passed by before I ever had a chance to grab it. Sadly this means I had no chance for writing this week (that is, writing that wasn't for college). But just because I was unable to write, should not mean you must be denied the joy of reading. Thus, I have gone on a quest to find something for you, dear reader, to enjoy. I'm pleased to say I have unearthed a Jewel from my past.

As some of you know, there was a time in my life that I was homeschooled (8th grade to be precise). This was a memorable time in my life, for a lot conspired that year. The biggest being my mother finally announced cancer free. However, another (less exciting) event that year was when I wrote the following silly story.

The boredom that traps an 8th-grade mind is surprisingly a wonderful track for one's imagination to run wild. Which is precisely what occurred when I gave birth to the character of a magical hobo bearing the unpronounceable name of "Mr. Canezzle".

And now, from the young 8th-grade mind of Lily, comes the first tale of this odd character's equally strange story.

~

Mr. Canezzle Is a Teacher

A Short Story By: A Younger Me

Change…what a good word… Hello! Do you like stories? I really like stories. So today I have a story for you that I wrote. Now I’m sure you have all heard one of those really good memorable stories that make you laugh, cry and have an all around good time. Well, I assure you this will… NOT be one of those stories. No, this story is about you…at school.  Dom, dom, dom (Insert organ here).

Okay, you’re sitting in your English class. It’s your last class for the day before you can go home and do all that homework your algebra teacher gave you…yeah. Well, as you sit there waiting for your teacher who is already 5 minutes late for class. You begin thinking about how you can break the news to algebra that you think he should stop looking for his "X" because you don’t think she will be coming back. Suddenly the classroom door flies open. In walks a well-dressed man…well you assume his clothes were nice at one point. It also seems this man has no fashion sense on the account that he is wearing striped suspenders, a plaid shirt…and a belt?…Hold on! This man that has just come into your classroom is wearing suspenders…and a belt…with a plaid shirt.

“Hello, class” the plaid shirt, suspenders-wearing man began, “I am Mr. Canezzle, I will be filling in for your normal teacher today on the account that he has won a radio show contest to take a one day trip to the top of Mount Everest.”

You find this quite strange because your teacher is strongly agents radio, has a great fear of snow and does not like the feeling you get from going outside. Mr. Canezzle interrupts your thoughts with his nasal voice.

“And now there is something that you must know about these three pens. This pen is for grading A’s, this pen is for grading F’s, and this last pen is for writing your parents a note…it’s almost empty…now I don’t know what your teacher had planned for you today, but I assure you that what I have planned will be much more dull and blander than anything your regular teacher has ever done." Mr. Canezzle said.

Yeah, you think. Just what I need, a long boring lecture. But before you can even yawn Mr. Canezzle quickly jots down a word of some sort onto the board.

“Plethora.” Mr. Canezzle says.

 You look intently at the word now on the board. You didn’t think you spell plethora with an "I"…or an “X” for that matter. You settle back in your chair this is going to be a long class.

Now in your best interest, I have chosen to skip Mr. Canezzle’s dull class and go to 5 seconds before the bell rings, where Mr. Canezzle is still talking about “plethora”.

“After that a plethora of things will start to happen, but just so you get the gist of it; you will never wake up again. So that is why you should never mix ammonia and bleach…” The bell ringing suddenly interrupts Mr. Canezzle.

“Don’t forget what John F. Abraham said. Speak bigly and carry a soft stick, Bye, Bye." Mr. Canezzle said.

You just keep walking, after the 46th time of him quoting that wrong, you have just given up on trying to correct him. You tell the bus driver you decided after what happened in your English class you should walk instead of taking the bus. You think it will help clear your head. Now you have made it about halfway home, when you look up and you see, the heavens open, a light shines down from the clouds laminating a neon green billboard that states “With a plethora of things to do there is a way for you to make a Change” You stand there looking at this word plethora, that now seems to be haunting you. As you stand there on the sidewalk, you start to think back to your English class and the mysterious Mr. Canezzle. Then you pause “hold on just a minute, ” you think, “I’m a homeschooler!”.

THE END

~

There you go. A wonderful blast from my past. Who knows, maybe one day I'll post some of the other stories that I wrote starring "Mr. Canezzle". Maybe...

Until next time,

.Lily