Friday, April 8, 2016

Mr. Canezzle is a Magical Hobo

Once again, I find myself with no time this week to write. I felt that with this being the case, I would post another story from my childhood for you to enjoy.

A Prequel To "Mr. Canezzle is a Teacher" By Lily Schreiber

Mr. Canezzle The Magical Hobo was on his typical corner performing tricks and illusions for the people on the sidewalk. 

“Is that not such a good name?” Mr. Canezzle thought. “Sidewalk, it’s a place where you can WALK beside all the buildings. So why did everyone seem to be running today?” 

But just as soon as he asked, the answer hit him…literally. A newspaper came flying out of nowhere straight into Mr. Canezzle’s face, making Mr. Canezzle drop his rabbit he had just pulled out of his hat. The rabbit hit the ground and took his chance; he ran to freedom! However, when he reached the road and saw the danger that laid ahead, he quickly moved back to his hat. In which he decided that captivity was not all that bad. 

But now back to Mr. Canezzle. The headlines of the newspaper that hit Mr. Canezzle said “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree.” 

“Aha!” Mr. Canezzle said “They're all late for work because they had to stop to read this article. That’s why they are running.”

Now this answer seemed logical to Mr. Canezzle, and it could be the reason everyone was running…but probably not for right below the headline “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree” were the words “Day Light Savings Time” And that was really why everyone was running. They all (except for the bosses) had forgotten to reset their clocks and now were almost an HOUR late for work!

Back to Mr. Canezzle who is completely still, in a trance of some sort...but what could have created this trance? Could it be the giant spinning hypnotizing wheel on the other side of the road? Or maybe the man waving his pocket watch back and forth, back and forth? No, it was none of these things, indeed, the “Cat Saves Man Stuck In Tree” headline head caught his attention and he was now intently reading the newspaper. He was so caught up in the newspaper that he failed to notes Mr. Smith, the high school English teacher, who came flying by him at a full flag run into “Radio Show”, a rip off of “Radio Shack”. However, as soon as Mr. Smith, the high school English teacher, entered “Radio Show” an alarm went off saying he had won a prize for being the one-hundredth person to enter “Radio Show.” You see “Radio Show” did not get much business on the account that “Radio Shack” was just across the street, and most people went to it.

To fully understand what happened next, you must know a little bit about this town Mr. Canezzle was in. So this town had only one hospital, The Mount Everest hospital, or Mount Everest as the locals called it. Now The Mount Everest hospital was the only four stories building in town, and the Emergency Room was on the top floor. (The hospital was originally only three stories, however, It turns out when they made the building they forgot the emergency room. Thus, they simply decided that they would add another floor on top for the ER. Besides riding in a helicopter to the ER is so much better than a car). So when someone had to go to the ER they (the locals that is) would say the person was taking a trip to the top of Mount Everest.

Okay, you know about Mount Everest hospital and the Emergency Room we can go back to Mr. Smith, who is overjoyed at winning a lifetime supply of dry erase markers. So Mr. Smith in all his excitement went running out in the streets to announce his winnings to the world, however, when Smith ran out the door to “Radio Show” he failed to see a small rabbit hopping across the sidewalk. Yes indeed this was Mr. Canezzle’s rabbit who was trying again at freedom…only to find that cars were not the only things he had to worry about, there were also shoes. And the first shoes Mr. Canezzle’s rabbit found were Mr. Smith’s. Seeing the danger of the shoe that was threatening to make him permanently part of the sidewalk, Mr. Canezzle’s Rabbit ran back for his hat, in the process tripping Mr. Smith sending all two hundred and thirty-seven pounds of Mr. Smith hurling to the sidewalk. Now Mr. Smith was not the most graceful man on the earth…no not at all! Mr. Smith landed right on his arm, putting it at an odd angle. 

Mr. Canezzle, hearing the commotion and seeing his rabbit looking very guilty as it ran back into his hat, decided that he must do what he could do to help the poor man. Mr. Canezzle dropped his newspaper, pick up his rabbit and hurried over to Mr. Smith. 

“Tell this Man you're sorry,” Mr. Canezzle said to his rabbit. “Tell this Man you're sorry,” Mr. Canezzle said again as he healed the rabbit up to Mr. Smith. The rabbit’s ears twitched a little and then fell limp, which is rabbit talk for I am sorry. “Thank you, now go back to your hat and stay there!” Mr. Canezzle ordered the rabbit. “Mr. Sir. Dude, are you alright?” Mr. Canezzle asked Mr. Smith, who now appeared to be in great pain. 

Now when Mr. Canezzle noticed that Mr. Smith’s arm was broken, he was overwhelmed with compassion and know he had to do whatever he could to help him, after all, it was his rabbit that made the accident. 

Now let us skip through time about three hours. Okay, now you are, yes you, you're sitting in your English class. It’s your last class for the day before you can go home and do all that homework your algebra teacher gave you…yeah. Well, as you sit there waiting for your teacher, who is already 5 minutes late for class. You begin thinking about how you can break the news to algebra that you think he should stop looking for his X because you don’t think she will be coming back. 

Then suddenly the classroom door flies open. In walks a well-dressed man…well you assume his clothes were nice at one point... It also seems this man has no fashion sense on the account that he is wearing striped suspenders, a plaid shirt…and a belt?…Hold up! This man that has just come into your classroom is wearing suspenders…and a belt…with a plaid shirt. 

“Hello, class,” the plaid shirt, suspenders-wearing, man began, “I am Mr. Canezzle, I will be filling in for your normal teacher today on the account that he has won a radio show contest, and is taking a one day trip to the top of Mount Everest.”

You find this quite strange, because your teacher, Mr. Smith, is strongly agents radio, has a great fear of snow and does not like the feeling you get from going outside.


Now you probably are wondering why Mr. Canezzle is in your classroom. Right. Well, see when the ER people got to Mr. Smith, Mr. Canezzle overheard them say Mr. Smith was a teacher at the high school. Being so overwhelmed with compassion for the kids that might have to get out of school early because they had no teacher, and wanting to fix the mistake his rabbit had done, Mr. Canezzle took the place as the teacher for Mr. Smith. However, as for the story Mr. Canezzle told about Mr. Smith, well that is what Mr. Canezzle calls situational truth. See Mr. Canezzle has learned that depending on the situation if you just give part of the facts of what happened then people will draw a different conclusion as to what happened. See Mr. Canezzle just told you that Mr. Smith "won a radio show contest, and is taking a one day trip to the top of Mount Everest," which is completely accurate. But without the info about Mount Everest hospital and the Emergency Room, you would think Mr. Smith was really on his way to the top of Mount Everest because he had won a radio show contest. But really, that's not what Mr. Canezzle told you. See, the statements Mr. Canezzle said was entirely accurate; your logic is just what was false.

The End


  1. Impressive Web Site. Wishing you well on your writing adventures!

    1. Thank you Mary. I had a friend here at the college I'm going to help me put it together. They made all the cool backgrounds and did the colors.


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